Intellectually I know that but emotionally I know she’s dealing with so much of her own grief and I want her to feel that everything here is safe and stable for her.

I think it feels safe for her. And seeing your grief validates hers, and shows how much you loved him as well.

There's a difference between a child constantly being put in the role of emotional support, and a significant event like this with a shared grief.

So, other people are taking care of me too.

Good!

ltc came running out of her room last night with a stuffed animal for me to hold when she heard me crying.

It probably makes her feel better to be able to comfort you. It works that way for me a lot of the time, I know.

My company is apparently celebrating "star wars day" now. I'm not sure how I feel about that. We do get cake pops, so that's good. There's trivia later and for some reason I don't expect that to go well. Maybe I'm wrong.

My dad called the police in the middle of the night because he said his hallucination people (remember them?) were stealing $80,000 from him. The police convinced him to go to the hospital, and most of the standard tests they ran were normal, except he has a UTI (which can make elderly people hallucinate) and pretty bad anemia. The hospital has, obviously, scheduled a consultation with a psychiatrist. No idea how long he'll be in the hospital, or if they might transfer him to a mental health unit/hospital.

I'm aware this is going to sound terrible, but: we're leaving for vacation on Sunday, and I'm not changing my plans to stay home. There is literally nothing I can do to help him. He's in a hospital, which is where he needs to be.

I'm also aware it's probably pretty unhealthy, but I'm drinking a beer right now, because I literally cannot think of any other way to cope with this shit.

My company is apparently celebrating "star wars day" now. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It's also Dave Brubeck Day. Because, 5/4 time.

I'm sorry your dad is having a rough time of it, Steph, but it sounds 100% reasonable to me that you are going on your vacation and, yeah, the hospital with professionals is where he needs to be... and where he is. Not tha you needed external validation, but I just felt like agreeing with something today.

Also, enjoy vacation! Where to?

That does not sound terrible, Tep. He's being taken care of and you are correct, there is nothing you can do. I hope you enjoy your vacation! And the beer. I have been idly wondering about your dad's hallucinations, I'm sorry it came to a dramatic head but I'm glad there wasn't actual violence or anything.

It's also Dave Brubeck Day. Because, 5/4 time.

I really want this to come up in the trivia thing! I will be ready!

Not tha you needed external validation

Oh no, I very much need external validation, because I feel like the most neglectful of adult children, going to the beach while her crazy parent languishes in the looney bin. (I do get that that perspective is messed up, which is why I'm still in therapy.) (Also, my brother the therapist wants it noted for the record that the reason I have that perspective is because Dad installed it in me when I was 12, which is true.)

Also, enjoy vacation! Where to?

The beach, but South Carolina this time, instead of North Carolina. Folly Beach, near Charleston. (It's oddly a shorter drive timewise to South Carolina than it is to North Carolina [10 hours vs 12 hours]. I assume it's just a straighter shot to Folly Beach from here than it is to Topsail.)

Oh no, I very much need external validation,

Then I'm happy to serve! And your brother is insightful.

The beach sounds faaaaaabulous!!

Hooray beach!

No Brubeck questions. I came in 4th, which oddly means no prize. Pout