askye, I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that. I hope that you can move relatively quickly.
I believe it, Shir. I worked for an international healthcare organization during the height of Ebola, and even though my job was in an office in Boston, it was still brutal! It's a lot to carry with you, even if it's not directly affecting you.
Yeah, it took me a while to understand what it does to me - especially because I blamed most of it on the pandemic. But a definite sign was when I saw the final letters parents sent to their non-Jewish friends, trying to hide their 5 year old kid in a monastery under a catholic identity. The last letter was written from the train when they were deported to Poland (and it worked. The kid survived. But the parents didn't). I saw my colleagues' reactions when I showed them that letter, and realized that I was numb because all I could come up with was "oh, yes, readers would love to see this". I am on a waiting list for mental health sessions on secondary trauma - but it's a long one. I've been waiting since June 2021. I do have another archive which will require processing of adjunct subjects (intellectual history of fascism), but I will absolutely prioritize staying away from processing war/genocide related material after this.
That is rough, Shir, but that you have recognized the toll it is taking on you is huge. Not realizing it would be worse. May you find a method of self care. {{Shir}}
I saw my colleagues' reactions when I showed them that letter, and realized that I was numb because all I could come up with was "oh, yes, readers would love to see this"
I feel that -- I work in fundraising, so there was a lot of similar feelings. Good luck with the counseling.
I'd be ok with a smart lock on my own home but not a rental.
M's mom seemed to be more understanding this morning morning I explained that my big concern was my mom and the dental staff/patients I could be exposing and if it weren't for that I wouldn't be as worried.
I think having some space helped.
And then after that she reminded me M & I should take diapers because the GF's parents are raffling off a shotgun. I asked how many people peope were going to be there...about 60 were invited and around 25 said they'd come.
I kept my mouth shut. I don't know for sure but I'm almost 100% the 3 of us will be the only ones vaccinated that show up. And M and I will be the only ones wearing masks.
Shir definitely take care of yourself . I'm glad you were able to realize the toll it has taken on you and I hope you can get off the wait list and see someone soon.
Raffling off a shotgun? Is this a thing people do?? At a baby shower??
Shir I hope you get a break and some help soon that sounds really hard.
I'm not sure, but it seems like it would be a big difference having one on your own home versus your rental apartment.
I guess since my landlords have always had the keys to my places, I don't really see the distinction — but, again, I'm not being funded by Big Smartlock or anything. I really don't have strong feelings and am not trying to convince anyone to agree.
Anyway.
Shir, hang in there.
Fun raffles (and meat raffles!) are definitely a big thing in the Wisconsin countryside. Usually at bars though.
ETA: Gun raffles, that is. Fun raffles I have no objection to, though I suppose the devil is in the details.
I’ve heard of meat raffles. And there are events for which a shotgun raffle would not shock me. But for a baby shower???
I think I don’t know enough about smart locks to know what their risks are. I have a keypad lock, which yeah, possible that old roommates have given the code to tons of people but I change it every once in a while. It’s handy. Might be easier if it were fancier and I could change it from an app or something but then I’d have to change the batteries more too!
