msbelle, I love you enough to supress urges to offer advice. Instead I offer support. I wish it were easier to find the professional-type support that we need. You deserve healing, you deserve to thrive.

My advice for preparing the pot is to cut it down with nail scissors. I have terribly weak, short finger nails.

Here is a trick my friend used back in the days of yore and impressed a band backstage: get an empty soda can, turn the drink hole to the bottom. Squish a nice large flat place in the middle of the can. Poke many little holes into the dent with a ball point pen or a tooth pick. That's the screen. Poke the pen into the bottom of the can. That's the carburetor, cover that with your finger when you light up and inhale. Release that at the end of the toke and get some fresh air.

The guys just couldn't believe they had never learned how to make a soda can pipe after all their touring and recreational drug use and they treated her like the party goddess and she was happy about that for years.

(Sigh) wow, the good old days were a looong time ago!

I don't know exactly what outpatient care would entail, but do you have some kind of short term disability insurance that could help make it feasible?

Msbelle the Intensive outpatient treatment I did was a half day it ran 17 days and I went 4 days a week and then 3 days.

Some hospitals offer partial hospitalization which is a full day and is and I don't known the length but that seems more like what you are talking about.

Intensive outpatient therapy is often a step down from partial hospitalization or full. A lot of the people who were in my IOP program had down the partial hospitalization and transitioned to that.

I did it! Okay, so it was the world's saddest-looking joint, even after I in fact rolled it twice, first time totally rejected.

But it worked! I was able to take a couple tokes, which is all that I wanted -- this is a strain that's supposed to help with pain and insomnia (Golden Lemon #6), so the intent was only mildly to get high, but mostly to see if it would be a good fibro-flare intervention.

I'll investigate edibles and so on in the future. (They have chocolate bars!) But the problem is that in my long-past experience, hash brownies made me high for a solid day, which is not in accordance with my hard-driving lifestyle.

All heart to you, msbelle. I'm hoping that mac came home.

msbelle, is there any kind of disability you can look into? I'm worried about you.

Did it help, Theo?

To tie the convos together, mac came home 5 min past curfew as I was locking the doors AND he was high. So many good times in our home.

I don't mean to worry you all. I am really just emotionally exhausted. Truth is even days off will not make that better because he is still a mess and that is what is the cause. I'lll call today about starting g therapy again and maybe they can up my meds short term or give me a stronger something when bullshit goes down so I don't just turn off which is what I kinda do now.

msbelle I feel for you all the time. I am incredibly stressed out by my teen who is flirting with failing classes, but aside from that is almost always safe at home and cooperative in general and has friends whom I trust. Please try and get yourself some help & support.