At least regular therapy is a start! But you need more support for yourself, for sure.

In other news, I am sleepy because I was awoken too early this morning by a turkey! Apparently it was roosting last night in my neighbors' tree, and surprisingly high up!

At least the raccoons are quiet.

Only a couple tokes, just enough to feel a slight buzz. I felt relaxed and got to sleep fairly easily... The real test will be when I have a flare going on.

I hope you do get to a therapist, msbelle. My juvenile is 27 now, and hasn't progressed since middle school. The only difference is that at this point I really understand the limits of control you really have over your children's decisions.

Trinity is a challenge. Her life has been all about being able to run on vast acreage with other dogs and sleeping in a crate. Now she has moved to the big city with lots of strange people and noises. DH took her to the beach yesterday for a walk and she did not handle it well. Traffic, roller blades, bikes, runners! She was way over stimulated. When she got home DH sat outside talking on the phone for a while. It was dark and when my son and DIL came out of the house to meet her she charged at them barking. DIL is super freaked out now and doesn't want anything to do with her. Son has more dog experience and gets the over stimulated part.

So, we bought her a crate and she happily slept in it last night. We have a friend who trains that we will engage. She is young and smart and I believe will train easily, but not sure how to reassure DIL. Sigh.

I'm sorry, msbelle. I cannot imagine how stressful this must be.

Came downstairs, turned on my computer, browsed around for a while, and then realized at some point that maybe I should actually log in to work. Just completely spaced on doing my actual job.

~ma for all the stress, msbelle.

But the problem is that in my long-past experience, hash brownies made me high for a solid day, which is not in accordance with my hard-driving lifestyle.

Edibles from dispensaries come with dosing information, which I imagine you did not have with homemade hash brownies. (Obviously you shouldn't try them out when you have to drive, but still.)

msbelle, we'd worry more if you stopped talking about it. Just to be clear. You're in a tough spot and I wish there was something I could do to make it easier.

I'm laughing at myself, because my coordinator sent me the following email:

"Could you please provide [Manager] with your tracking system (and CC me). In other words, how do you keep track of your work at different stages?

"[Manager] would like to provide the new freelancer editors with best practices, and you really seem to be well organized and almost always (99.9% of the time) get your work to me on time."

The reason I'm laughing is because my answer is: "Uh, I have a LOT of anxiety and want to continue to get paid." That's honestly it. (Although I was able to give them screenshots of the way I track stuff on my calendar, my obsessively detailed lists, and my color-coded folders on my computer. I did NOT also include a photo of my bullet journal. [Seriously. My system has a lot of redundancies deliberately built in, because I edit an absolute shit ton for them, and losing track of an article would be bad news. So I track stuff several different ways. Because I am, in fact, powered by anxiety and caffeine.])

msbelle, please don't stop talking about what's going on with you. We love you, and we are your support network.

Edibles from dispensaries come with dosing information, which I imagine you did not have with homemade hash brownies.

However, that dosage information is still a YMMV thing. One square of 420 Chocolate (the recommended serving!) was not fun or sleep-inducing for me.

You may want to look at tinctures. They were the most effective and consistent thing for me.