I'm sorry, askye. This relationship seems to be on a serious downward trajectory. Getting away from that situation seems to be a priority now. Have you looked to see if anyone is looking to rent a room or get a roommate?

The person going to work should not be responsible for fixing dinner for the people who are home all day. They are not little kids! This mom sounds like an awful person who likes flailing around pushing buttons and crying for more help, more understanding and more leeway.

My mother - once she got a computer and realized that I was actually good at using them - would, when I went up to visit, ask me to do things for her. Usually, it was something like she didn't understand how to do something, once I had to explain that Excel was a program and not a description, but she often asked me to do something that would take a significant amount of time either late at night or shortly before I was leaving. It was very annoying.

The person going to work should not be responsible for fixing dinner for the people who are home all day.

THIS.

I spent 90 minutes walking my mother through a Skype installation that takes >10 minutes. Bless.

Once, I was up at my mother's and she was talking about having bought a scanner. She handed me an envelope and I checked the disk inside; then I asked her where her scanner was and she pointed at the envelope and disk. I had to patiently explain to her that a scanner is a piece of hardware and what she'd bought was software that would, supposedly, make that hardware work better.

aw. Did she ever get her scanner?

Laura it's not all bad I mostly vent here but I do feel like we are weird tomatoes more than a couple. Although I don't think he feels the same way. His mom being here is the tipping point .

I have looked at the roommate or room to rent but it's either college age or early 20s looking for the same or sketchy. And I'm not ready to handle pandemic,work, and breaking up/moving right now.

I'm trykng to be more present and not just withdraw because I know it looks like I'm not trying to spend time together but...what I want to change would mean him changing a lot and I know that won't happen I'm just not ready to take the steps I need

Plus I want to try and dig myself out of a little debt before taking on more expenses.

He is not expecting me to fix dinner that is just his mom but she is very..if she thinks it she will say it.

Laga, that was the last I heard of the scanner ... she may have tried pricing some of the hardware and decided it was too expensive.

Toddson, I feel like that could happen to my mom.

Askye, it sucks that you're going through this relationship stage while everything else is drowning in chaos. It sounds like you have a clear picture of what's lacking that you need (and overly present that you not need). I hope your best path forward becomes clear too, soon.

I don't know the dynamics in your household, apart from what you share here. If it will cause more problems than it will solve, ignore this next thing.

Sometimes, when I read your posts, I wonder if things would improve for you if you found a way to say, "No," or to put back on Matthew's mom (or Matthew), the thing seems to be asking from you. I mean the kind of "No" that is simple. Not an argument, just a "No," or "No, what would be better is if..." Like -- with the shirts, "It would probably be better if you had Matthew do that for you."

He is not expecting me to fix dinner that is just his mom but she is very..if she thinks it she will say it.

If you treated this as if she just needs to think out loud, what do you think would happen?

That she is/they are upset, expressing a need, or wanting things is not your problem to fix.