Toddson, I feel like that could happen to my mom.

Askye, it sucks that you're going through this relationship stage while everything else is drowning in chaos. It sounds like you have a clear picture of what's lacking that you need (and overly present that you not need). I hope your best path forward becomes clear too, soon.

I don't know the dynamics in your household, apart from what you share here. If it will cause more problems than it will solve, ignore this next thing.

Sometimes, when I read your posts, I wonder if things would improve for you if you found a way to say, "No," or to put back on Matthew's mom (or Matthew), the thing seems to be asking from you. I mean the kind of "No" that is simple. Not an argument, just a "No," or "No, what would be better is if..." Like -- with the shirts, "It would probably be better if you had Matthew do that for you."

He is not expecting me to fix dinner that is just his mom but she is very..if she thinks it she will say it.

If you treated this as if she just needs to think out loud, what do you think would happen?

That she is/they are upset, expressing a need, or wanting things is not your problem to fix.

Cindy, I try to push back with his mom but she will pout and whine and sometimes it's easier just to grit my teeth and deal with it. Also at some point a therapist told her she needed to avoid drama and his mom took this to mean that when she says something and people get upset then they have to be quiet or she will walk away because it's drama and she has to avoid it.

I did actually address this in a very calm, not heat of the moment, time. she was talking about how a friend reacted badly to somethign she said and tried to take the "I have to say whatever is in my head" excuse. I just used stuff I'd learned in therapy- she can't control the way other people react to what she says. What she can control are her words initially and her reaction to their reaction. and that I know from experience it can be hard not to blurt things out but I gave her some advice on how to try and change that. and then also gave an example of when she tried to stir something up with me and Matthew-- she had no clue what I was talking about and then when I gave more details just laughed at how funny the situation was (it was not funny). at that point I just gave up.

Plus she calls multiple people , multiple times a day, to talk to them and she will relate anything that has happened (this is an issue with Matthew) and so I don't want to be the subject of the conversation and try to just stay away from her reacting strongly.

I came home and there was dinner and Matthew had cleaned out the fridge.

We need a break from his mom, our trip to FL was going to be that break becuase she has no place to go and spend the night anywhere and we've had a few hours a lone when she's gone to church and then lunch but that was only a handful of times when that coincided with my Sundays off.

I was reading a column in the newspaper this morning and it seems that, while people aren't driving as much, many are using their cars to get some alone time. One said something along the lines of it's the only place they can get away from their family.

My husband and kids do the go for a drive thing quite a bit to take breaks. Me, I just turn on my Nook.

I look forward SO MUCH to running errands outside the house these days. Every time I can't get something delivered is a pure golden gift.

Yeah, when I'm in the car running an errand, I find I look for excuses to stay out longer. Other errands, or I take really random, circuitous routes home.

I miss driving so much, I miss alone time, I miss taking wanders around my neighborhood, but most of all, I miss regarding people with my usual amount of wariness and not "Are you carrying a potentially deadly disease?"-fear. So far, I've taken the route of less anxiety and kept Peanut and myself mostly in our courtyard, but the cabin fever is starting to take over. It's just that walking around with her is an exercise in hypervigilance, and it's exhausting.

I even miss work, for goodness' sake, and that is something I never thought I'd say.

In the 30 years I have lived here I have never seen this volume of walkers, bikers, joggers. We have always had them because residential neighborhood on a park, but it is 10 fold what it was. Mostly with masks around their necks to pull up if they get close but people outside of family units are staying distanced.

I see joggers, bicyclists, people on scooters and, across from my office, there's a paved area where the skateboarders congregate. Most of them don't wear masks and a lot of them get fairly close to each other. The other evening, I saw a group of five joggers, none wearing masks, in a fairly close pack. To their credit, they were running in the street rather than taking the entire sidewalk.

I see joggers, bicyclists, people on scooters and, across from my office, there's a paved area where the skateboarders congregate. Most of them don't wear masks and a lot of them get fairly close to each other. The other evening, I saw a group of five joggers, none wearing masks, in a fairly close pack. To their credit, they were running in the street rather than taking the entire sidewalk.

FWIW, in the Bay Area we are not advised nor required to wear masks while we're exercising/running etc. Just maintain social distance. I do not wear a mask while running the steps. But (unlike previously) I don't run past somebody on a flight of stairs; I wait until they are done and take my turn.

From what I've read on aerosolization and transmission of the virus, it's not likely to be transmitted while you're running past someone. It's mostly transmitted in close quarters (Nursing homes, prisons, airplanes, meat packing plants) where people have many opportunities to breathe the same air as others.

It's very unlikely to be transmitted in the open air if people are not congregating in close groups.