I'm never going back from hardwood floors if I can help it.

Steph, I am kind of relieved for you that you have decided to not go to the funeral. I was concerned for you. Yes, it would be ideal if you could be there for your dad, but you cannot take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself. Anybody other than your dad gives you the side eye about not going, I say we stick 'em in a non-functioning elevator with my brother. They can have a snide-off together.

I am doing so much adulting. All I want to do is veg out, but nooo.

- pack up item sold on ebay (TAKE A BREAK FROM EBAY SELLING FOR A FEW WEEKS)
- mobile deposit refund check from medical stuff (YAY MONEy)
- call bank to check about auto payment from checking that hit when account was locked
- get transferred to credit card department of bank to check on fraud charge attempt on card and shutting down that # and getting new cards AND checking for auto payments set up on THAT card
- check the payment that bank shows did not go, see that payee shows it as received and now await fallout of it bouncing or something and there being fees and whatnot
- admit mistake made to large friend distribution list
- pay water bill

That is a lot of adulting!

had to make another call to bank, this time to the bill pay service section. Since they had attempted to pay a scheduled payment when the bank had things frozen, the payment refused and then THEY frozen the account. So I had to get them to unfreeze it and hopefully the payment scheduled for today, but will go through.

- I reset up a payment to the one that failed and yes that payment is now gonna miss a due date.

- Luckily I also noticed while in there that my phone bill is due this week and in order to make the due date I need to make that payment via the phone website.

GRRRRRR

Back in US. Possibly about 75% dead. Still have Customs, parking shuttle, and drive to hotel.

Steph, I know it wasn't an easy decision, but I'm glad you're doing what you need.

The thing is, a big part (though not the ONLY reason) of why I'm not going is that I absolutely cannot be my dad's emotional dumping ground. Him putting me in that role is killing me. This is a boundary I have to maintain.

But I can't tell Dad that's why I'm not going (even if I thought that having a conversation about his inappropriate emotional vampire tendencies would go well under *normal* circumstances, I absolutely am not going to use the occasion of his last living brother's traumatic death to drop a bombshell on him). So -- and I do feel bad about this, but it's what I'm going to do -- Friday morning I'm going to call Dad and tell him I can't go because I have a migraine. That's the kindest thing to do right now.

(Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be able to have the "You are an emotional vampire towards me but not my brother and have been for literally 25 years and that is gross and inappropriate in about 100 different ways so cut it the hell out now" conversation with him. That's not a safe conversation for me to have. All I can do is establish boundaries of steel. Which I had been doing, until Uncle Ed's death blindsided me. Ugh. So glad for therapy tomorrow.)

Your plan for Friday sounds totally reasonable and kind to me. I'm glad for your sake that you'll be staying home.

Both a good and a wise choice, Steph, I think.