Oh man. I haven't been around for a long time, and even when I was, I was more of a lurker, and I didn't know ita very well. Still, I remember her as the heart and soul of b.org. I can't help thinking about the things I wouldn't know, or wouldn't have, or the people I would never have spoken to, if not for her, and this board. ita touched so many peoples' lives, including mine, and there is a hole in the world right now, with her loss.
When I saw the news on DW, I was shocked and saddened, and I wanted to offer my condolences to you all. So Buffistas, please know that you all and ita are in my thoughts and in my prayers.
The response is, "No comment, except to say, 'Welcome to Sweden.'"
I am completely unqualified to be helping her family. I am so stupid and ridiculous. I don't know why she put me in charge of communicating with her family. And they keep thanking me and asking how I am. I wish they wouldn't thank me.
Please no hair pats. I don't think I can take it.
If I can help somehow, I will.
Allyson, this isn't a hairpat, this is a statement of fact.
There is no good way to handle the dreadful business of coordinating a beloved child's death. None. There is only "best I can manage at the time". This is a horrible thing to have to do, and the horror is inherent to the situation.
There is no platonic standard. There is no right way to do this.
Not a hair pat, but if they keep thanking you, you're not doing it wrong, even if it feels like it. Can one of the other core locals spot you with it?
I am completely unqualified to be helping her family.
This is so fucking hard. Is there any way we can help? Like, can you order in food so you don't have to deal with cooking? (I mean, duh, you live in LA; you can order in food.) It's wholly inadequate, but my money is your money and I will send you $$ so you can order some damn dinner.
I don't know why she put me in charge of communicating with her family.
Can you trust her judgement? That if this is what she chose to do, then this is how she wanted it and thought it should be?
I told my mom that if I didn't have her, you might be my contact, too.
You're good at those things, Allyson, and ita's family knows you love her.
