Not a hair pat, but if they keep thanking you, you're not doing it wrong, even if it feels like it. Can one of the other core locals spot you with it?
Ilona Costa Bianchi ,'The Girl in Question'
ita's thread
A place where we can talk about ita, miss ita, and share information about memorials. The hugging started over here in Natter.
I am completely unqualified to be helping her family.
This is so fucking hard. Is there any way we can help? Like, can you order in food so you don't have to deal with cooking? (I mean, duh, you live in LA; you can order in food.) It's wholly inadequate, but my money is your money and I will send you $$ so you can order some damn dinner.
I don't know why she put me in charge of communicating with her family.
Can you trust her judgement? That if this is what she chose to do, then this is how she wanted it and thought it should be?
I told my mom that if I didn't have her, you might be my contact, too. You're good at those things, Allyson, and ita's family knows you love her.
ita put you in charge of communicating with her family because she loved and trusted you. I don't believe there's some hypothetical person who could do it better.
So, for the ita book. I'm collecting some of the things people have said here and on Facebook, but I'd really like y'all to think of memories of ita and/or what it meant to you that you want to include in the book and post them here.
Oh god, yes. Kat, Norah, Paula, Kristen, even Paula's sister is flying in to help. It's definitely not all on my shoulders. I didn't mean to insinuate that I was doing everything. I'm just a conduit.
They are planning to come in on Sunday. I sent some hotel recs. I asked if it would ok to draft her obituary.
I asked if they needed any financial help, this will be an expensive visit, but Moji hasn't responded to that. I hope if they need, they will say so.
Colin has also offered to help with things here.
The Blacklist sent us matzo ball soup and black and white cookies yesterday, so I can have that for dinner. Thank you for the offer, Steph. It means a thing.
Allyson, I am 100% sure you are doing it "right," whatever that means in a situation that is so wrong. ita's family knows you love her and are grieving alongside them. That means a lot. I hope you are taking care of you, too.
Allyson, if there's anything I can do from a distance, I'm yours.
I didn't mean to insinuate that I was doing everything.
It's not what I understood from your posts, so I don't think there are any worries regarding that.
I asked if they needed any financial help, this will be an expensive visit, but Moji hasn't responded to that. I hope if they need, they will say so.
Please let us know that, too. If any of her loved ones need help getting to LA, the least I can do is contribute some $$.
Would local or otherwise people be interested in a chance to get together? I was thinking I could have an open house Monday (assuming most people have the day off). I understand if it doesn't feel right. But I can get some sandwiches in, people can come by and talk and drink. I have a lot of room. I live in Northridge.