Oh Maria. How hard. I'm so sorry. That process can be so daunting. I know you have plenty of support and I would not presume to intrude, but I've got pretty big ears and am a champ at sitting with anger and such. Please know I am here...especially when it seems like all other options are exhausted.

Oddly enough, it was Bartleby who inspired me to update my will last year when I was sick. I have nothing to distribute, but I wanted to make sure he was taken care of...guess that means I need to redo it now.

We really did. She has very tiny feet and she gave me homework and made me call the psychiatrist in her office to make an appointment to get meds. And she said that if I can't be the nurturing one to myself right now, to call her when I need that and she would be that for me. But only when I can't do it myself.

Aimee, your new therapist sounds great. I'm so glad you found her. (weirdly, people comment on my small feet all the time...I guess it comes from a lot of looking down when searching for something to say...)

Ginger, may every good wish others have offered be granted you tenfold. Nothing-ness is preferred and expected!

Very few Israeli products here that don't include components or ingredients from occupied territory in any case.

Case is very different here, obviously.

Just to reassure you, does not mean cutting off contacts with Israelis or refusing to allow Israelis scholars access to libaries or internship programs. It does mean not funding Israeli institutions, or in most cases not doing institution to institution joint projects - the same thing in meant in the case of South Africa, when many teams would not play against even integrated SA soccer teams as long as the society remained legally segregated.

Thanks. And yeah, I know. It's just not something I'm all comfortable with. I understand the reasoning, I support most of the reasons for doing so (though I think calling it an apartheid only gives Israelis easy life about it - in the way where apartheid is a facet of the issue - a big red one, sure, but a facet, thus avoiding think things through systematically and not just with big red sheets). Also, and it's just an emotional reason, but it is home. Trying to find alternative ways that will allow me to share it with others and working to fix it in the same time is two sides of the same coin for me.

Oh, {{Maria}}. Sorry, I was writing my previous post for a long time since I'm very tired at this point.

I'm sorry. If there's anything we can do, please say so.

And also, {bonny}.

{{{Maria}}} I am still dragging my feet on probate because it is just that hard. But I can assure you that no one comes and raps your knuckles for not jumping on it right away.

If you can get someone else to take care of any of it for you (any of us, people at the funeral home, a family lawyer) go ahead and let them. There's no virtue in doing everything yourself.

Oh Maria, my poor lady. I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. Is there anyone who can help you, or at least keep you company while you're working on this stuff?

Aims, I'm very glad your first visit was good! And huh, I should try that opposite thing.

As soon as I finish lunch and coffee, I am going to start recording the radio shows, like I said I would. Plus it will distract me from constantly refreshing my email, looking for a message about when the HR munchkin has scheduled my interview loop.

Maria,

I can imagine.

hopefully you can get a good probate attorney who could walk you through all of what you might need to do now vs. things that can wait in the short term.

You were married, so that should help you in the short term (you should still have access to family funds, your house etc.), but anyone else will have to wait awhile.

If you can get someone else to take care of any of it for you (any of us, people at the funeral home, a family lawyer) go ahead and let them. There's no virtue in doing everything yourself.

-t is very wise. Hard-won wisdom that I wish she didn't have experience with, but still. Very wise.

There's no virtue in doing everything yourself.

Truer words, Maria. Holding you in my thoughts today. If there's anything I can do, I will. Just ask.

Oh, blessed be, Maria, probate. Bah. A surviving spouse should have few roadblocks, though.

I've mentioned wills to Hubby. It freaks him out. My parents did quickie "Everything to my spouse wills" two years before Daddy died, and it saved a lot of grief because it turned out Mother's name wasn't on the deed to the house.

I need to get someone else to take care of it. And it can't wait. His car is worth more than he owes on it, and I don't want the bank to reposses it. I also don't want to keep making payments on it either. It's in his name only. The house is in my name only. We each had our own bank accounts, plus a joint one for the house. He probably doesn't have much in his since he didn't make a dime in 2011, and I have no idea if he has any other creditors. I know he was a personal guarantor on the loan for Warrior Aviation, but there are four others on there too, and it's more than adequately collateralized.

His personal finances and organization are a mess. I opened up the file cabinet in the office and crap was just thrown in there. I'm so angry I could scream. I'm also missing him desperately. I hate this so much. I want him back.