I remember that guy. I love that guy! (Not actually.)
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
My personal fav is "I have 6,000 sex toys and would like to use them on you."
Ummmm.......no.
Please note that this is not because I'm against sex toys. In fact, I am very much in favor of them. However:
1) This was an initial email. Not exactly nice to meet you conversation.
2) 6,000??? Really?? That's a serious monetary investment. And, let's do the math. Assume you were to use 3 per day. That's still several YEARS worth of toys.
3) And this is my biggest issue, how many used them before me? Not enough ngah in the world.
My favorite online dating story is "Once we figure that out, we can transcend being made in God's image, and actually BECOME GOD!"
Mormon?
Mormon?
Jewish. Met him on JDate.
I had a guy who wanted to give me a shower. I thought that was unusual but it seems to be a crip-girl fantasy trope of some sort. Um...could I sound more like Sheldon? But that one made me get my anthropologist on.Especially when he liked me more after I said "You'd beat some guy's ass if he talked to your sister like you just talked to me. I'm somebody's sister, too, dumbass." (A fucking feminine flower, too. Goddamn it.)
"I have 6,000 sex toys and would like to use them on you."
Did you ever meet in person? Because if not, you don't have proof he was a human, and you may in fact have been propositioned by SEXBOT 6000!
Honestly, that makes more sense than a human sex-toy hoarder.
Is this the guy you went on that picnic with at Audubon Park when you first moved here?
Indeed. Mr. I'm-Not-Gonna-Tell-You-How-to-Pronounce-My-Name.
I had the guy who wore diapers for fun (he made sure to let me know he IS toilet trained) and he was looking for a Mommy.
My kids are pretty close to grown. Am NOT interested in going backward.
I had a guy who wanted me to knock him unconscious. Because I am who I am, I did take the opportunity to do it once, but then I ran like the wind. That is not foreplay, and you can't assume it's a segue to cunnilingus, dude.