I investigated body donation after reading the book "Stiff." Hubby sounded intrigued, and I have to admit that I was relieved to have a clear plan in place when/if I need it. Apparently there's not a lot of paperwork involved, a surviving spouse can apparently say "donate", at least in Utah. That's one of those married person benefits people don't think about, isn't it?

t waves

Hi everyone ... I need a spot of advice. One of my girls in my scout troop - her mom is also one of my co-leaders and is just awesome and we went to high school together - lost her dad this morning in a freak car accident. He was a super nice guy, really involved with Z and despite being divorced from J, they had a really fantastic relationship and he was just awesome. Z is a gorgeous, funny, kindhearted girl. She's been in Em's class the past tw years and is hopefully going to the charter with Em next year.

We want to do something for them, but we have no idea what. Well, we don't know what to do in the short term. In the long term, we're going to start petioning the county to put a guardrail there, but that's a long time out.

What should we do in the meantime? I want the other girls in my troop to do something for Z, but I don't know what.

Any advice/suggestions?

Food is traditional. Maybe organize a few weeks worth from the troupe? Extra help with errands or babysitting, since even divorced that's one less parent?

For Z specifically, maybe a troop project in his honor? Planting a tree/garden or something like that?

Or, maybe do a seed packet project and hand them out so that memories of him are spread around the community?

Oooh ... I like both of those ideas. Thank you.

meara - good call.

Food is traditional.

I was going to say that, although I wouldn't overwhelm the family with meals. I love Suzi's idea of the tree planting. Even simply offering Z a chance to come over and play and escape sadness for a while and be a little girl would be awesome.

Any advice/suggestions?

Food when spread out and not overwhelmed before people can eat it. Pet care. Picking up from school and taking kids to shared after school activities. Little daily things that help without asking something in return. Anything that takes away worry and makes day-to-day life simpler is good.

And I am sorry.

Even simply offering Z a chance to come over and play and escape sadness for a while and be a little girl would be awesome.

Yes, offer small, easy moments to not be actively mourning and grieving. They will, but open arms are amazing. Let them come and play, they'll probably cry but they will also have some joy.

Aims,

one of the things that I think can be forgotten sometimes is that there often is a lot of help immediately when something like this happens, but then support and offers for assistance fade away through time. You may want to line up x,y,z now and then check in with the family and the little girl in a month for a play date or to go to a weekend outing or something.

le n, you said exactly what I was going to say.