Oooh ... I like both of those ideas. Thank you.
meara - good call.
Xander: Just once I'd like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. Anya: Great. Thank you very much for those nightmares.
'Sleeper'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Aims - Apr 03, 2013 7:09:50 pm PDT #28295 of 30001
Shit's all sorts of different now.
Burrell - Apr 03, 2013 7:23:59 pm PDT #28296 of 30001
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
Food is traditional.
I was going to say that, although I wouldn't overwhelm the family with meals. I love Suzi's idea of the tree planting. Even simply offering Z a chance to come over and play and escape sadness for a while and be a little girl would be awesome.
Cass - Apr 03, 2013 7:30:36 pm PDT #28297 of 30001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Any advice/suggestions?
Food when spread out and not overwhelmed before people can eat it. Pet care. Picking up from school and taking kids to shared after school activities. Little daily things that help without asking something in return. Anything that takes away worry and makes day-to-day life simpler is good.
And I am sorry.
Even simply offering Z a chance to come over and play and escape sadness for a while and be a little girl would be awesome.
Yes, offer small, easy moments to not be actively mourning and grieving. They will, but open arms are amazing. Let them come and play, they'll probably cry but they will also have some joy.
le nubian - Apr 03, 2013 8:51:24 pm PDT #28298 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."
Aims,
one of the things that I think can be forgotten sometimes is that there often is a lot of help immediately when something like this happens, but then support and offers for assistance fade away through time. You may want to line up x,y,z now and then check in with the family and the little girl in a month for a play date or to go to a weekend outing or something.
WindSparrow - Apr 04, 2013 12:51:47 am PDT #28299 of 30001
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
le n, you said exactly what I was going to say.
Trudy Booth - Apr 04, 2013 3:24:50 am PDT #28300 of 30001
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
My Dad was quite against organ donation (and, assumedly donation to science) and I only learned about it once it wasn't really worth asking and talking about. But I wished we'd been able to discuss it so I understood why since I don't believe it was any religious belief on his part.
His objection could simply have been my objection to being cremated, it creeps me the fuck out. I don't care if anyone else does it, but stick me in the ground, please.
Poor Z family! Yeah, food next week. They're lucky they've got you around, Aims.
Steph L. - Apr 04, 2013 3:50:39 am PDT #28301 of 30001
I look more rad than Lutheranism
My Dad was quite against organ donation (and, assumedly donation to science)
My Dad filled out a whole sheaf of papers so his body can be donated to science. Basically, all I have to do when he dies is call a number, and they come get him. It's a little unnerving, but I appreciate the efficiency on their part and the altruism on his part.
Cass - Apr 04, 2013 4:12:16 am PDT #28302 of 30001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
His objection could simply have been my objection to being cremated, it creeps me the fuck out. I don't care if anyone else does it, but stick me in the ground, please.
Oddly, vocally wanted creamation. So it's an unanswered question with him. Personally rotting terrifies me so science is good but the Body Farm no. It's all what slots into your comfort zone.
And we've got his remains back now. I suspect we keep them until he and Mom go together. With Dramamine for her if his ocean demands stay. Still, he's home. And I feel it is where he belongs right now. I'm just glad Dad is home.
The end of life isn't an easy time to discuss, but I think it's a worthwhile thing while you can still talk about it.
Immediate help does fade. What can you do next week or month? Or best, what can you do now and do again in a week or month?
beekaytee - Apr 04, 2013 4:48:42 am PDT #28303 of 30001
Compassionately intolerant
le n, you said exactly what I was going to say.
And Windsparrow said exactly what I was going to say.
The first thought that came to my mind was having the girls organize a rota of food and errands, then have them ask their parents/church/clubs to participate.
That way, the folks who react right away and can overwhelm with support have a day in the future they know will be theirs.
I also love the garden/tree idea. My friend K who died 3 years ago was the local gardener. So, SO loved and missed. Her partner and a few others organized an effort to take over a small plot of land across from her house.
It is lovely and simple and so perfect.
She had a beautiful image of a modern wrought iron fence on her business card and the team had a specialist recreate the fence around her garden. Every time I see it, it makes me smile and tear up. Just perfect.
askye - Apr 04, 2013 5:06:47 am PDT #28304 of 30001
Thrive to spite them
Aimee - I really recommend this book Tear Soup [link]
It explains the process of grieving, especially in terms of a sudden death. It may help Emeline and the other girls in your troop understand what is going on.
I agree with Le Nubian, to check in with the family and see what they need in a few months.