For Z specifically, maybe a troop project in his honor? Planting a tree/garden or something like that?

Or, maybe do a seed packet project and hand them out so that memories of him are spread around the community?

Oooh ... I like both of those ideas. Thank you.

meara - good call.

Food is traditional.

I was going to say that, although I wouldn't overwhelm the family with meals. I love Suzi's idea of the tree planting. Even simply offering Z a chance to come over and play and escape sadness for a while and be a little girl would be awesome.

Any advice/suggestions?

Food when spread out and not overwhelmed before people can eat it. Pet care. Picking up from school and taking kids to shared after school activities. Little daily things that help without asking something in return. Anything that takes away worry and makes day-to-day life simpler is good.

And I am sorry.

Even simply offering Z a chance to come over and play and escape sadness for a while and be a little girl would be awesome.

Yes, offer small, easy moments to not be actively mourning and grieving. They will, but open arms are amazing. Let them come and play, they'll probably cry but they will also have some joy.

Aims,

one of the things that I think can be forgotten sometimes is that there often is a lot of help immediately when something like this happens, but then support and offers for assistance fade away through time. You may want to line up x,y,z now and then check in with the family and the little girl in a month for a play date or to go to a weekend outing or something.

le n, you said exactly what I was going to say.

My Dad was quite against organ donation (and, assumedly donation to science) and I only learned about it once it wasn't really worth asking and talking about. But I wished we'd been able to discuss it so I understood why since I don't believe it was any religious belief on his part.

His objection could simply have been my objection to being cremated, it creeps me the fuck out. I don't care if anyone else does it, but stick me in the ground, please.

Poor Z family! Yeah, food next week. They're lucky they've got you around, Aims.

My Dad was quite against organ donation (and, assumedly donation to science)

My Dad filled out a whole sheaf of papers so his body can be donated to science. Basically, all I have to do when he dies is call a number, and they come get him. It's a little unnerving, but I appreciate the efficiency on their part and the altruism on his part.

His objection could simply have been my objection to being cremated, it creeps me the fuck out. I don't care if anyone else does it, but stick me in the ground, please.

Oddly, vocally wanted creamation. So it's an unanswered question with him. Personally rotting terrifies me so science is good but the Body Farm no. It's all what slots into your comfort zone.

And we've got his remains back now. I suspect we keep them until he and Mom go together. With Dramamine for her if his ocean demands stay. Still, he's home. And I feel it is where he belongs right now. I'm just glad Dad is home.

The end of life isn't an easy time to discuss, but I think it's a worthwhile thing while you can still talk about it.

Immediate help does fade. What can you do next week or month? Or best, what can you do now and do again in a week or month?