Stephanie, all the bride's other cousin's as well as my aunt and uncle disappeared all at once, and it took me a while to figure out that it was for pictures. No one ever said a word to me about it. My dad died 33 years ago, and my family has yet to deal with it. They sort of just pretend he never existed, which makes acknowledging that I am a legitimate part of the family hard for them. I shouldn't say all of them; I do have one uncle that is pretty good about remembering that I am his brother's daughter.

I've been thinking for a while about getting a dog. My lease says,

No pet, animal, bird or other pet will be kept on the premises, even temporarily, without written permission from Landlord or Agent. If written permission is granted, the Tenant agrees to pay the cost of having the dwelling de-fleaed and de-ticked by a professional exterminator at the termination of occupancy. Tenant expressly agrees and understands that Landlord's permission may be conditional upon an additional deposit to be paid prior to the pet being kept on the leased premises.

How should I phrase an email to the landlord asking for permission? I don't know yet exactly what kind of dog I'd get, or when -- I don't want to start looking until I know that I'll be allowed to get one.

I'd definitely be getting a smallish dog (30 pounds or so or less), and probably not a puppy.

I hate people. and yet I fear that I am the common denominator here. no one likes me enough to love me. i'm going to die alone.

I hate people. and yet I fear that I am the common denominator here. no one likes me enough to love me. i'm going to die alone.

Awww. What prompted this?

What do you want a relationship to be?

I know that personally I'm a better person when I have a focus for my love. That when I'm giving I'm my better self. So I've always preferred being in relationships.

I guess I'm just wondering how you feel when you are in a relationship. What do you expect to get from your partner?

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, meara. But I must disagree with you. I've met you and you are quite lovable. If you are the common denominator, then the issue is not whether or not you are lovable, but perhaps whether or not you place a high enough value on loving you back before you let yourself get attached to someone.

I just fucking want someone to love. who will also want to fuck me. and vice versa. and I can't seem to find that. no one i want likes me.

i've never even dated someone more than 6 months before we broke up. even people who are serial fucking monogamists. who marry like, three times. i don't even know.

Loving and fucking are definitely two of the better things to have in a relationship.

As one of my exes noted, "The fucking better be good or why bother? You might as well be friends."

I wish I was there to administer chocolate and maybe a glass of wine, meara.