I hate people. and yet I fear that I am the common denominator here. no one likes me enough to love me. i'm going to die alone.
'War Stories'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I hate people. and yet I fear that I am the common denominator here. no one likes me enough to love me. i'm going to die alone.
Awww. What prompted this?
What do you want a relationship to be?
I know that personally I'm a better person when I have a focus for my love. That when I'm giving I'm my better self. So I've always preferred being in relationships.
I guess I'm just wondering how you feel when you are in a relationship. What do you expect to get from your partner?
I'm sorry you're having a bad day, meara. But I must disagree with you. I've met you and you are quite lovable. If you are the common denominator, then the issue is not whether or not you are lovable, but perhaps whether or not you place a high enough value on loving you back before you let yourself get attached to someone.
I just fucking want someone to love. who will also want to fuck me. and vice versa. and I can't seem to find that. no one i want likes me.
i've never even dated someone more than 6 months before we broke up. even people who are serial fucking monogamists. who marry like, three times. i don't even know.
Loving and fucking are definitely two of the better things to have in a relationship.
As one of my exes noted, "The fucking better be good or why bother? You might as well be friends."
I wish I was there to administer chocolate and maybe a glass of wine, meara.
I'm sorry you're having a bad day, meara. But I must disagree with you. I've met you and you are quite lovable.
I agree with this.
somehow, no one who actually has to date me believes that.
Don't know if hearing someone else's story will be helpful or not, but here's mine. Skip over it if you prefer:
Before I met my DH, everybody I dated treated me like I was good enough to date, but just until something better came along. It was heartbreaking (again and again). It took me forever to realize that the problem wasn't my innate unlovability but that I kept being attracted to whatever it was--that habit of holding back their total affection from me. And slowly that behavior transformed from being attractive to me to being deeply unattractive. I'd hear someone talk about needing space or "let's not name this thing" and I'd be all "let's just end it, m'kay?" And maybe that was what made me free when someone who wanted ME came along.