So my friend has been asked to bring language-oriented to her etymology class this week. Like, jokes that rely on metaphor or euphemism. The assignment is kind of broad. Anybody have any good ones? They can be dirty as long as there is some kind of play on language.
Can't you ever get your mind out of the hellmouth?
Buffy ,'Touched'
Natter 68: Bork Bork Bork
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
lisah - Mar 28, 2011 11:23:09 am PDT #670 of 30001
Punishingly Intricate
billytea - Mar 28, 2011 11:27:36 am PDT #671 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.
Q: "What's worse than raining cats and dogs?"
A: "Hailing taxis."
Ginger - Mar 28, 2011 11:35:03 am PDT #672 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
It's not exactly a joke, but there's this:
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we're out to receive on an Alliance ship, captain?
Mal: Absolutely. What's "sanguine" mean?
Zoe: Sanguine: "Hopeful". Plus, point of interest, it also means "bloody".
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?
Daisy Jane - Mar 28, 2011 11:36:02 am PDT #673 of 30001
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."
I'm not sure if this counts, but it is my favorite joke, so I'll tell it, you have to say it out loud, in a southern accent, or it doesn't really work.
3 Southern belles all have boyfriends named Bubba. This becomes confusing and is often the beginning of many arguments, so they decide nicknames are in order. They decide they will nick name their bubbas after soda pops.
The first belle says, "I'm gonna nickname my bubba...7-Up, 'cause he's 7 inches long and he's always up."
The second belle says, "Imma nickname my bubba Mountain Dew, 'cause that's all he wants to do is Mount'n'do."
The third belle is hemming and hawing and finally says, "I guess I'll nick name my bubba Jack Daniels."
The other two exclaim, "Sweetheart! You can't do that! That's not a soda pop, that's a hard liquor!"
And she says, "Yeah, I know."
DavidS - Mar 28, 2011 11:37:55 am PDT #674 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
That's a great joke, Daisy.
That reminds me of my favorite t-shirt:
"Let go of my ears; I know what I'm doing."
Jesse - Mar 28, 2011 11:40:00 am PDT #675 of 30001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Ha!
What about the thing with "Where y'all from, bitch?"
Ginger - Mar 28, 2011 11:43:15 am PDT #676 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
I know a lot of terrible puns, but I don't know if that meets your criteria.
There's the one about two maggots fighting in dead Ernest.
lisah - Mar 28, 2011 11:46:48 am PDT #677 of 30001
Punishingly Intricate
Anything goes, I think! Thanks you guys!
§ ita § - Mar 28, 2011 11:47:21 am PDT #678 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
That reminds me of my favorite t-shirt:
Do you get many comments when you wear it?
le nubian - Mar 28, 2011 11:52:38 am PDT #679 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."
my favorite joke in high school:
what did the doe do when she got her paycheck?
She blew a few bucks.