Jayne ,'The Train Job'
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
It's not exactly a joke, but there's this:
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we're out to receive on an Alliance ship, captain?
Mal: Absolutely. What's "sanguine" mean?
Zoe: Sanguine: "Hopeful". Plus, point of interest, it also means "bloody".
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?
I'm not sure if this counts, but it is my favorite joke, so I'll tell it, you have to say it out loud, in a southern accent, or it doesn't really work.
3 Southern belles all have boyfriends named Bubba. This becomes confusing and is often the beginning of many arguments, so they decide nicknames are in order. They decide they will nick name their bubbas after soda pops.
The first belle says, "I'm gonna nickname my bubba...7-Up, 'cause he's 7 inches long and he's always up."
The second belle says, "Imma nickname my bubba Mountain Dew, 'cause that's all he wants to do is Mount'n'do."
The third belle is hemming and hawing and finally says, "I guess I'll nick name my bubba Jack Daniels."
The other two exclaim, "Sweetheart! You can't do that! That's not a soda pop, that's a hard liquor!"
And she says, "Yeah, I know."
That's a great joke, Daisy.
That reminds me of my favorite t-shirt:
"Let go of my ears; I know what I'm doing."
Ha!
What about the thing with "Where y'all from, bitch?"
I know a lot of terrible puns, but I don't know if that meets your criteria.
There's the one about two maggots fighting in dead Ernest.
Anything goes, I think! Thanks you guys!
That reminds me of my favorite t-shirt:
Do you get many comments when you wear it?
my favorite joke in high school:
what did the doe do when she got her paycheck?
She blew a few bucks.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
Sadly, now I have Britney Spears singing in my head -- "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?"