Owen's next IEP meeting will include an LD teacher AND the gifted & talented teacher. The school is finally picking up his diagnosis of Autism, after a year and two reports from a developmental pediatrician.

But they're going to have to figure out what to do with a five year old who can read the newspaper and do addition and subtraction but can't keep his hands to himself or stay on track during a full school day.

The hyperfocus/extreme distractability, the way time is not a fixed measure, the way little fiddly details are suddenly the most important thing in the world ever and have to be taken care of right now or OMG the fucking world will END.

Interestingly, all aspects of dyspraxia too. (Along with much anxiety that means needing to talk and/or obsess about a detail until it drives you - and your partner - round the bend.) But then, there's apparently a spectrum of these things, with lots of crossover. Which makes sense.

The Boy wasn't a hyperactive kid, so he didn't get diagnosed as anything but "lazy underachiever." He wasn't diagnosed until his 30s. Some people aren't diagnosed until they're in their 60s.

Don't you hate the "lazy underachiever" label? So useless. It's like guilt. I find guilt a very destructive emotion because it actually makes it harder to effectively address whatever is causing the guilt. Same with lazy. And I call myself lazy all the time. I'm very bad about it.

But they're going to have to figure out what to do with a five year old who can read the newspaper and do addition and subtraction but can't keep his hands to himself or stay on track during a full school day.

Do they have an open classroom or one that emphasizes compassionate communication? I'm just thinking if he had a teacher who responded to his behavior with support instead of punishment, it'd be great for him.

there's apparently a spectrum of these things, with lots of crossover. Which makes sense.

The co-morbidities with ADD are fascinating to me (which is a totally privileged thing to say, since I don't have ADD). Because The Boy is on the board of directors for our local ADD support group, they sent him to the national conference last month, and he brought back a lot of good material. OCD is apparently a common co-morbidity, as are depression and Tourette's syndrome.

Don't you hate the "lazy underachiever" label?

Early on in our relationship, we had the conversation about What Never to Say to Me Unless You Want Me to Lose My Shit Entirely. And The Boy's only stipulation was to never call him lazy, or anything in that vein (like "[The Boy] can't keep up," or "[The Boy] always falls behind"), because that's what every teacher he ever had said about him.

And he's so NOT lazy, and it makes me so angry on his behalf. Especially on behalf of his childhood self.

Do they have an open classroom or one that emphasizes compassionate communication? I'm just thinking if he had a teacher who responded to his behavior with support instead of punishment, it'd be great for him

I think so. That's part of the idea of this upcoming meeting. Finding a 1st grade teacher who understands the issues and setting up a fall back position for him when he needs some quiet time or sensory breaks.

I think so. That's part of the idea of this upcoming meeting. Finding a 1st grade teacher who understands the issues and setting up a fall back position for him when he needs some quiet time or sensory breaks.

Yeah, I can see needing that kind of space. Franny's classroom has a quiet section. I'm not sure how the kid's use it. I know last year the kids created a space where they could go when they needed to be alone. It was under a specific table.

Hell, the comorbidities of ADD are fascinating to me, and I'm ADD as all hell.

Hell, the comorbidities of ADD are fascinating to me, and I'm ADD as all hell.

It's kind of amusing how many people in the kinky community have ADD. (A LOT of them do.) There's a lot to be said for that type of creativity.

(There are a lot of IT people in the kinky community, too, which is a whole other issue.)

It's kind of amusing how many people in the kinky community have ADD.

I've noticed this (with various forms of neurodiversity) too. There's a fascinating sociological research project to be done there.

... And I can just imagine the faces of the professors reading the Ph.D. proposal for that.