The inimitable Tep, in Natter.

Tep: So, the other night *I* made grilled cheese & tomato soup for dinner, and burned the grilled cheese (this is why Tim makes the grilled cheese instead of me, but he was disassembling the drill press that night).

The smoke detector didn't go off that night, so I just asked Tim to test it. He reached into the depths of the credenza and pulled out an incense stick (a heretofore unknown incense stick; color me unsurprised). He lit it and stood under the smoke detector and waved it. The alarm went off immediately.

"Well," I said, "we know no hippies will break in."

In Natter,

Gud: I was in a bookstore this weekend (they still exist, who knew?) and on a shelf I spotted a Bill Clinton corkscrew with the slogan 'who better to pop your cork?' next to a Hillary Clinton nutcracker. It made me think I miss Clinton, the budget surplus, international respect (though that's getting better), no land wars in Asia, jobs, the worst scandal just lying about sex and let's face it lying about sex is pretty common (that was great, sure I remember your name, I bought the Porsche because of the way it drives). Ah well, the good old days.

billytea in Natter:

Concerning the splooging species, I would like to direct your attention especially to the European bitterling, which is into inter-species threesomes. the male and female find a mussel to involve in their tawdry sex games; the male squirts sperm down its inhalation siphon, while the female squirts eggs down its exhalation siphon. Fertilisation occurs within a protected environment. When the baby bitterlings leave, the mussel (who wasn't offering its services for free, being apparently a fallen mussel, or perhaps a mussel of the night) attaches its own young in cysts on the babies' sides.

There are a lot of undersea stories I think are just ripe for conversion into a Disney cartoon.

In Natter:

Amy: What is with the earthquakes?

tommyrot: Clocks get set back tonight. Happens when they get ready to stop the Earth for an hour.

In Natter. Rock stars need no context.

Liese: I'm going to start an all girl band with a male bassist and I'm going to call it "Superdouchey Fallacy."

Hec on Matilda:

The Princess and the Pea is not a fairytale, but a documentary on her life.

And, JZ on Matilda:

Matilda is watching Yellow Submarine for the first time:

The Beatles: All the lonely people - where do they all come from?

Matilda: They come from America!

The Beatles: Where do they all belong?

Matilda: JULY!

In Natter, on talent,

Dana: Bobby McFerrin is maybe the biggest argument for talent I can imagine. You tell me that anyone could do what he does with enough practice.

Steph L:Michael Jordan.

flea: Michael Jordan can sing?

In Bitches - out of deference to someone else's family drama, leaving out the bigger context. These lines are still funny on their own.

smonster:

So, what does the fashionable zombie mother of the groom wear these days?

bonny:

"Oh. This old rag?"

In Bitches - conversation still ongoing, so there's still time to catch it live:

Hil R.:

I had an odd conversation today. I was talking to someone who I generally consider very intelligent. We were talking about Christmas carols. She's also Jewish. She said that Silent Night and O Come All Ye Faithful weren't religious songs. I said, "Huh?" She said that they're not songs about Jesus, they're just songs about Christmas. I said "Huh?" again. Finally, I asked her to sing the songs. She sang, "Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la, sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace." And "O come all ye faithful, la la la la la la, o come ye, o come ye, la la la la" I may never stop rolling my eyes at this.

meara:

I can almost see the Silent Night thing the way she's singing it...but what faithful, exactly, does she think are being referred to, if not religious?

Cass:

Weeding out adulterers?

Yeah, I have no idea.

meara:

O Come, All Ye Faithful, Herman Cain not welcome, O Come Ye O Come Ye (but only with your spouse).