Ginger: My dog apparently ate a couple of ounces of weeds and then threw them up this afternoon.

meara: ...I read this as ate WEED. And I was like "well, someone's open about her pot habit...and surprisingly not so upset about the amount the dog went through, that's expensive, isn't it?"

Perkins: Me too, meara. Me too.

Cass: And me.

beth b: me too

Ginger: It's nice that people think my life is more exciting than it is. I guess it would really be alarming if he ate pot-laced brownies with chocolate chips in them.

Miracleman: When I was growing up, the neighbor across the back way was, um...unsubtle about his weed habit. And by that I mean he had a four or five foot plant growing next to his back stoop.

One day the family got a black lab mix puppy. Cute widdle guy, just tiny when they got him.

And that tiny widdle guy ate the whole weed plant.

Owner guy was very upset about the loss of his plant. Owner lady was very upset that her widdle puppy might die.

Widdle puppy was one very happy puppy. For three whole days. He just lay there and, like, wagged his tail, and probably thought: Dude. What if "Dog" was spelled G-O-D. You know, man?

Theodosia: "Look at the size of my PAWS!" "What's that thing waving around at the base of my spine? Wait, it's ATTACHED?" "Man, I've got to get me some Snausages, like, now!"

brenda m: Yeah, but that differs from a dog's normal day how?

amych: More munchies?

Oh, wait.

In Bitches, on the topic of small children's bad dreams, Trudy Booth sets it up:

I guess that's how the sleeping brain expresses anxiety before you've gone to High School.

Miracleman knocks it down:

...and after you've gone, the anxiety is expressed as...bad poetry and poor fashion decisions.

Cass, discovering that the cilantro hate starts early:

Was grabbing a quick dinner tonight with P and the no-longer-baby-because-she's-nearly-three and she was happily nom nom nomming guacamole until her face just had a look of betrayal and she stuck out her tongue. With a piece of cilantro on it. It was like 1 out of ten Buffista arguments, right there. She, it seems, is nay on cilantro. I did not ask if it tasted like soap because ... well, because not laughing was the most I could really manage apart from taking the icky cilantro away.

Aims, in Bitches:

If people are going to insist on using troll logic, then I demand they start wearing spiky hair, dyed green or red, and have a large rhinestone in their belly for people to rub for luck. You gonna use the logic, look like a freaking troll

Kristen in b'crazy, because truthiness.

Awesome. The Fiery Thread of Death will live 4EVAH!

ETA: It's been a sucktastic month. I will take my victories where I can.

In Bitches

Laga:

Why can't sweet sensible people end up with other sweet sensible people and the psychos date each other?

Miracleman:

Hey, it can happen. Aims and I ended up together...

...and somewhere out there, there are two sweet sensible people who may have found each other as well.

Aims:

Hey!!

Miracleman:

Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you.

Aims:

You're wrong.

Miracleman:

Okay, now mean it.

C'mon, we've always said it's a good thing we found each other because nobody else was as uniquely suited to put up with each others' crap as we are.

He reads comics and collects toys; she reads and writes Harry Potter fic. Together, they fight crime! Very specifically weird crime.

connie neil:

Hubby and I say we married each other to spare two innocent souls the grief of living with us.

Jilli, Voice of Reason:

Every now and then, single male friends of mine will lament that they can't find nice, sane goth girls. "Like you, Jilli!" I then laugh and laugh at them, and explain that no, I'm not sane. It's just that Pete and I are well matched in crazycakes.

In Gaming:

Laga:

You know how the wii fit says that while working out you should visualize your ideal body?

Raq:

I have no problem with this - I visualize Jared Padalecki.

In Bitches:

Tommyrot:

In the Onion book Our Dumb Century, there's a fake ad for some patent medicine that has a big list of all the old-time-y diseases and conditions that it cures - stuff like TB and consumption, and what-not. But my fave thing it cures is "the screaming shits."

Beverly:

I think I've had those.

I just came across this gem of Buffista parenting way back in Natter and had to COMM(A) it:

Gudanov: I found out my daughter's class is covering forces and gravity. I was trying to tell how gravity is really cool and is the warping of time and space. I also tried telling how time slows down for observers in higher gravity. She seemed really unimpressed by all this. I did tell her to stick with the class answer of 'force that attracts objects to each other' rather than 'warping of space-time' on any tests.

In Bitches:

erikaj: But I'm part Irish-American with a tortured soul and a psycho family

Shir: Oh, I'm just Jewish. I guess that's pretty much wraps it up the same.