Possibly the Awesomest Cross-Post Ever:
Hil R.:
I know someone who had slept with the guys she dated in high school and college, then became more religious after college and stopped even touching men she wasn't related to. She married a guy who I'm pretty sure was a virgin, and they didn't even hold hands until after their wedding. They've got two kids now, and she keeps trying to set me up with her husband's younger brother.
Vortex:
Just tell her that you're allergic and you don't want to swell up like a balloon and die.
Holy cow, I didn't realize that was a cross-post! I thought it was just wacky advice for Hil!
Nope, it was fairly sensible advice to Aims a few posts back.
Oh thank goodness. I'm on the train on my BB and I saw that and came right here to make sure someone had commed that.
From Natter:
Kat: iPhone edited my fuck into duck. Charming
Plei: You have to train it. I sent so many emails in the early days where I was saying "Duck! Shot!" a lot.
Jesse: Oh, I keep forgetting I have to work Sunday. Must not forget that on Sunday! But the work includes a Duck Tour, so I'm looking forward to it.
Gudanov: I hope you're not posting from an iPhone.
In Natter:
P.M. Marcontell:
My iPhone now knows fuck, shit, cunt, fic, and apparently, mpreg.
I'm not sure where it got the last one. I think it's been surfing the net without me.
In Bitches:
StuntHusband:
Very, very me. So much so that I asked my mom (the psych-nurse) if I were anywhere on the Asperger's spectrum.
She said no, they'd had me evaluated as a child, and I was just a clueless asshole sometimes. (THANKS MOM)
Now we just need someone to translate the word "asshook" into Sindarin and we'll have come full circle.
Oh bitches, my bitches. Follow-on conversation from the above:
Jess -
Now we just need someone to translate the word "asshook" into Sindarin and we'll have come full circle.
StuntHusband -
...what makes you think I haven't *tried*?
(un?)fortunately, the Professor left nothing anatomically-appropriate. Lots of "hands" and "eyes" and "heads" and "feet" and "hair" and "hearts" and such. No asses.
It's like old Trek - no bathrooms. They didn't NEED them? Elves don't s(h)it?
-t -
No. Lembas melts on their tongues and any minimal waste products are expelled through the skin as an ethereal glow.
StuntHusband -
In Sindarin, "behind-hook" would be "adelgamp".
There is no lexicon of the Finnish-like Quenya. TSOL.
Now look what you made me do?! You made me TRANSLATE ASSHOOK.
Actually, that's kinda cool. *buffs fingernails on hoodie*
-t -
::must not filk adelgamp to the tune of Eidelweiss::
tommyrot -
I'm not sure I'd take such an extreme stance....
Gudanov -
If elves don't defecate then they really don't have any concept of asshooks so why do they need a word for them? Of course that begs the question, what do they do to tether the head back?
Frankenbuddha -
Product.
tommyrot -
Do elves have assholes?
Aims -
<restrains from obvious Elrond joke.>
<not very successfully>
Inside-fandom joke from Natter...
shrift:
I've met Victoria Bitter AND Cassie Claire. I can tell tales uphill both ways while covered in ash from the erupting Wankatoa.