Steph L.

Hey, it's a Monday.... So I had to come up with a diplomatic way to say "Dear author, 'When Cannabis Strikes the Retina' [that was seriously the title] is in no way a scientific title that reflects the content of the article and if I left the title as is, senior management would have come down on me like a ton of bricks and by the way, you are not as clever as you think."

Zenkitty

WHEN CANNABIS ATTACKS, tonight on FOX! Are YOUR retinas safe??

Steph L.

Right? How on earth they thought that title was going to be okay is beyond me. (They're French, so maybe they thought everything in the US was like reality TV.)

-t

Kinda sounds like a weird translation of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.

Tom Scola

Dude, have you ever noticed what cannabis does to your retinas? I mean, like, really noticed...

Steph L.

I'm looking at my retinas from inside my skull...

Steph L.

BD cake (also other dessert because his family is HUGE and loves dessert); snacky food like chips/dip, cheese/crackers, a veggie tray; (lots of) beer/wine but also soda and bottled water and whatever the great-niecephews drink. And we'll just order a ton of pizzas (and salads in case anyone wants to boost their veggie intake).

(I just emailed my mom about it and said "You should come, because I can guarantee with Tim's family, something will be lit on fire. How can you pass that up?")

Am I forgetting anything?

dcp

Fire extinguisher(s).

EDITED to cobble two posts of Steph's together for the sense-making.

From Natter:

Toddson: A useful tip - in one week, if someone you don't know well asks you what you think of the election results, a safe response is, "I'm so glad it's over."

tommyrot: OK, that's probably better than the response I was thinking of: "I welcome the cleansing fire that will purge this country of its madness."

Catching up in Natter while phone banking:

flea: Also, I would like to confess that despite an overall excellent command of English, I am confused about the tenses of the verb "to drink." "I have never drunk rum" is, I think, correct, but it feels wrong. Drink, drank, drunk. Sigh.

WindSparrow: Where rum is involved, drunk is always an appropriate word.

JZ in Natter:

I am seriously going to barf out everything between my tonsils and my voting vagina.

Gud brings the gallows humor to Natter:

hippocampus: RIP Leonard Cohen.

Dana: I really need to build that wall around Sondheim.

Gudanov: And make Broadway pay for it.

Consuela in Natter:

Congratulations, Callaluna. May you shake the dust off your feet and stride forth into a shiny new life. (Sorry America just peed all over the couch cushions, though...)

Jessica in Bureau:

Goodbye and Good Riddance 2016: Come Back, David Bowie

Goodbye and Good Riddance 2016: And Bring Prince With You

In Natter:

Toddson

To make my life complete, my office is having a team building thing on Friday. Our head person let something drop and I've figured out that it's going to be one of those locked room deals. I offered to keep quiet about it if she'd give me the key.

Matt the Bruins Fan

Guess it's time for Bring a Chainsaw to Work Day.

shrift

I had a reasonably good meeting with my manager today, and he told me that he wanted me to be more aggressive with our team.

Steph L.

That's code for "bring your chainsaw to work."

In Natter:

Zenkitty

This noise is bout ta drive me mad. Sounds like a pneumatic jackhammer. They're working under my trees. If they damage them I'm going on a rampage. Just so you know. Maybe I'll arm myself and take over a wildlife refuge. That's okay now, right? I bet it's quiet at a wildlife refuge.

-t

Well, you are white, but you aren't male, so I'm not sure. Might only be half okay.

Zenkitty

Hmpf. Probably any white male I could find to back me up in this protest would be unpleasant company. Of course, he would hypothetically have all the guns. My only weapons are an iron skillet, a bayonet, and an Iron Man action figure.

Jesse

Um, Zen, for what it's worth, you could probably go to a wildlife refuge for the quiet without an armed takeover.

Zenkitty

Is that even legal?