She really does have the best intentions.
I have said many times that I don't want my epitaph to be "She meant well."
Yeah... That went well.
Mal ,'Trash'
Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Ginger - Sep 17, 2009 1:48:51 pm PDT #23599 of 30000
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
-t - Sep 17, 2009 1:50:06 pm PDT #23600 of 30000
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
I don't know what good my fasting will do if I don't believe in it.
Belief is not always required. I'm not saying you should do it, but whether you believe in it might not matter to your mother as much as whether you do it. If she believes in it, that belief may not require your belief.
Burrell - Sep 17, 2009 1:51:42 pm PDT #23601 of 30000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
P-C, do you honestly believe that fasting for 21 days will have any effect on your love life?
I think you need to spend some time thinking about how important marriage is to *you* and about what *you* want from marriage. Not your mother, you. I'd go so far as to recommend that the next time you are tempted to discuss your marital future in terms of your mother's desires, just stop yourself and consider how you might rephrase it in terms of your own desire.
So do you want to fast for 21 days?
Polter-Cow - Sep 17, 2009 2:01:12 pm PDT #23602 of 30000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Belief is not always required. I'm not saying you should do it, but whether you believe in it might not matter to your mother as much as whether you do it. If she believes in it, that belief may not require your belief.
So I could just lie...
P-C, do you honestly believe that fasting for 21 days will have any effect on your love life?
No.
§ ita § - Sep 17, 2009 2:07:20 pm PDT #23603 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
P-C, do you want to be married anytime soon? Do you think you're ready to be married? If you met a girl you like, how soon would your mother want you married? How soon could you see yourself married?
Finding a girl you like mightn't "fix" everything if you're not ready for a serious commitment--your parents may have to face that, later or sooner.
-t - Sep 17, 2009 2:07:29 pm PDT #23604 of 30000
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
So I could just lie...
Er, I'm not sure how you got there from what I said. I think that's a terrible plan. If you don't want to do it you should tell her so, but expecting "I don't believe that will work so I'm not going to do it" to convince her is probably a bit optimistic.
sj - Sep 17, 2009 2:20:00 pm PDT #23605 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
P-C, I know you are worried about being respectful to your family and about not hurting people, but getting married before you're ready has a greater capacity for hurting people than telling your mother you need to take your time to find the right person.
Polter-Cow - Sep 17, 2009 2:34:19 pm PDT #23606 of 30000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
I'm not ready to get married. I have said that many times. It doesn't appear to matter.
§ ita § - Sep 17, 2009 2:36:10 pm PDT #23607 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Then don't fast. If you keep playing along you're going to have to hurt either her or yourself and some unlucky woman at some point.
-t - Sep 17, 2009 2:44:18 pm PDT #23608 of 30000
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
I'll just stand behind ita's post and nod.
And also add - if it's not completely obvious to us who are getting your side of all this that you are not ready to get married, it's probably not completely obvious to your family. I know it is unfair that you have to keep saying it over and over until they hear it, but I'm afraid you probably do.