Belief is not always required. I'm not saying you should do it, but whether you believe in it might not matter to your mother as much as whether you do it. If she believes in it, that belief may not require your belief.

So I could just lie...

P-C, do you honestly believe that fasting for 21 days will have any effect on your love life?

No.

P-C, do you want to be married anytime soon? Do you think you're ready to be married? If you met a girl you like, how soon would your mother want you married? How soon could you see yourself married?

Finding a girl you like mightn't "fix" everything if you're not ready for a serious commitment--your parents may have to face that, later or sooner.

So I could just lie...

Er, I'm not sure how you got there from what I said. I think that's a terrible plan. If you don't want to do it you should tell her so, but expecting "I don't believe that will work so I'm not going to do it" to convince her is probably a bit optimistic.

P-C, I know you are worried about being respectful to your family and about not hurting people, but getting married before you're ready has a greater capacity for hurting people than telling your mother you need to take your time to find the right person.

I'm not ready to get married. I have said that many times. It doesn't appear to matter.

Then don't fast. If you keep playing along you're going to have to hurt either her or yourself and some unlucky woman at some point.

I'll just stand behind ita's post and nod.

And also add - if it's not completely obvious to us who are getting your side of all this that you are not ready to get married, it's probably not completely obvious to your family. I know it is unfair that you have to keep saying it over and over until they hear it, but I'm afraid you probably do.

The problem is I can't tell whether I'm not ready to get married or not ready to get married right now. Through this whole stupid expedited arranged marriage process where you barely get to know the girl before you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with her and then, boom, it's done. They want me to get married for the sake of getting married, and I don't want that.

I say this with all the love for you in the world.

If that is not what you want, then you have to nut up and tell them that and be prepared to disengage from them as long as they bring it up. It's the onliest way to get it through to them that you need to do this on your terms - not theirs. They won't hear it for a long time, I'm sure, but you *have* to tell them in very clear, very blunt, very obvious ways.

It's gonna suck and the emotional blackmail is gonna flow like hot molasses, but you have to find someway for them to hear it and for you to say it.