Q) What is green, hangs on a wall and whistles?
A) A herring!
Q) A herring isn't green!
A) So, you could paint it green.
Q) A herring doesn't hang on a wall.
A) You could hang it on a wall.
Q) A herring doesn't whistle
A) Nu, so it doesn't whistle!
Zoe: I thought you wanted to spend more time off-ship this visit. Wash: Out there is seems like it's all fancy parties. I like our party better. The dress code is easier and I know all the steps.
'Shindig'
Natter 63: Life after PuppyCam
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Typo Boy - Mar 18, 2009 9:10:23 am PDT #11321 of 30000
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
SuziQ - Mar 18, 2009 9:10:56 am PDT #11322 of 30000
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame
How do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the jello
How do you stop a rhino from charging? Take away his credit card
What is black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sunburn
megan walker - Mar 18, 2009 9:11:53 am PDT #11323 of 30000
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist
Silly, it's not a zebra, it's a penguin reading a newspaper
Jessica - Mar 18, 2009 9:12:42 am PDT #11324 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
You're both wrong, it's a nun rolling down a hill.
megan walker - Mar 18, 2009 9:17:09 am PDT #11325 of 30000
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist
Or, it could be a cow that's just rubbed up against a newly painted barn.
Theodosia - Mar 18, 2009 9:20:39 am PDT #11326 of 30000
'we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon"
What is black and white and red all over?
I heard it as a penguin in a blender.
Daisy Jane - Mar 18, 2009 9:21:32 am PDT #11327 of 30000
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."
How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun
How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold its nose until it turns blue and then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
What time is it when an elephant is sitting on your fence? Time to get a new fence.
What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? Grapes are purple.
What did Tarzan say when he saw all the elephants coming over the hill? "Look at all those elephants coming over the hill!"
What did Tarzan say when he saw all the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
What did Jane say when she saw all the elephants coming over the hill? "Look at all the grapes coming over the hill!" She was color blind.
Lee - Mar 18, 2009 9:23:45 am PDT #11328 of 30000
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
I always heard this as they are both purple, except the elephant.
Kat - Mar 18, 2009 9:24:13 am PDT #11329 of 30000
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
I LOVE CORNY JOKES!
You all are cracking me up.
My classes' favorite has been:
What do a Christmas Tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.
But one that is cleaner? What do you call the chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the dirt and crosses back? A Dirty Double Crosser.
Trudy Booth - Mar 18, 2009 9:25:40 am PDT #11330 of 30000
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
The racy joke among my cousins was:
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Uncle Duncan's Underwear!
You'd sort of sing the last part. And why of all our relatives Uncle Duncan got it I cannot tell you.