There's something about a food that moves all by itself that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Joyce ,'Never Leave Me'


Natter 63: Life after PuppyCam  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


DavidS - Mar 18, 2009 8:52:57 am PDT #11317 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Hmmm, seems like Wounded Vet + Baseball = Automatic Verklempt for me.

***********

The flag traveled around the world and through the deserts of Afghanistan and Iraq. Sgt. Felix Perez brought it from home as a reminder and an amulet. The flag never left his Army backpack.

It accompanied Perez to Dolphin Stadium on Tuesday night. He needed some luck for his team, the United States, in its must-win World Baseball Classic game against Puerto Rico. Perez wore a Team USA hat and a Team USA hoodie, and his little sister, Jessica, draped his flag across her shoulders. The United States’ 6-5 come-from-behind victory in the ninth inning sent them into a frenzy. She danced around. He sat in his motorized wheelchair and roared.

On the way out, the 27-year-old Perez placed the flag in his lap and leaned over to a security guard manning Gate G. He was hoping some players from Team USA might sign it. The security guard led Perez and his sister to the U.S. clubhouse, and the flag went inside.

“The next thing I know,” Perez said, “I’m getting called to come back in there.”

And so began the coolest 30 minutes of Felix Perez’s life. On an evening when he felt especially proud to be an American – when a group of his sporting heroes wearing his country’s name across their chests banded together to win a game they had no business winning – Perez found himself surrounded by them, doused with celebratory Miller Lites, with the American flag that was with him during the worst moment of his life passed around the room and signed by every player on the team.

“Everybody,” Perez said.


JZ - Mar 18, 2009 8:56:53 am PDT #11318 of 30000
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

It was dead, too.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Peer pressure.

Also, what did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

Here come the elephants over the hill!

What did he say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on?

Nothing; he didn't recognize them.

And, why is an elephant like a grape?

They're both purple, except for the elephant.


Jessica - Mar 18, 2009 8:58:47 am PDT #11319 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?


Amy - Mar 18, 2009 9:04:01 am PDT #11320 of 30000
Because books.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Heh.

Sara went through a joke-making phase about a year ago. They were all variations of, "What do you get when you cross a tree and a lamp? A ... tree-lamp! Bwah ha ha!" It was all very *four*.


Typo Boy - Mar 18, 2009 9:10:23 am PDT #11321 of 30000
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

Q) What is green, hangs on a wall and whistles?

A) A herring!

Q) A herring isn't green!

A) So, you could paint it green.

Q) A herring doesn't hang on a wall.

A) You could hang it on a wall.

Q) A herring doesn't whistle

A) Nu, so it doesn't whistle!


SuziQ - Mar 18, 2009 9:10:56 am PDT #11322 of 30000
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

How do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the jello

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Take away his credit card

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sunburn


megan walker - Mar 18, 2009 9:11:53 am PDT #11323 of 30000
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist

Silly, it's not a zebra, it's a penguin reading a newspaper


Jessica - Mar 18, 2009 9:12:42 am PDT #11324 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

You're both wrong, it's a nun rolling down a hill.


megan walker - Mar 18, 2009 9:17:09 am PDT #11325 of 30000
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist

Or, it could be a cow that's just rubbed up against a newly painted barn.


Theodosia - Mar 18, 2009 9:20:39 am PDT #11326 of 30000
'we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon"

What is black and white and red all over?

I heard it as a penguin in a blender.