My dentist told me to get a waterpik and I keep forgetting about it.
ooooh! that would be awesomest, sara time and lisa time!
Yes!!!
Jayne: There's times I think you don't take me seriously. I think that ought to change. Mal: Do you think it's likely to?
'Our Mrs. Reynolds'
Natter 62: The 62nd Natter
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
lisah - Dec 10, 2008 11:15:11 am PST #5299 of 10002
Punishingly Intricate
tommyrot - Dec 10, 2008 11:23:11 am PST #5300 of 10002
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Traditional marriage, Bible-style
...if we are to let the Bible define what "traditional marriage" should look like, then our marriage laws should be amended as such:
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
sarameg - Dec 10, 2008 11:26:15 am PST #5301 of 10002
msbelle may have first dibs on the futon if she's coming down, but we can totally figure something out. And I might even have that monday off. (They've been batshit squirrelly insane about MLK day for ages. First we had Presidents, then no, wait, MLK then NOTHING and now I think we got MLK back. Maybe.)
Hil R. - Dec 10, 2008 11:28:45 am PST #5302 of 10002
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Pfft. There are enough weird marriage rules in the Bible to not have to take stories and pretend they're rules.
sarameg - Dec 10, 2008 11:32:14 am PST #5303 of 10002
In completely unrelated news, I may have to kill someone.
NoiseDesign - Dec 10, 2008 11:33:38 am PST #5304 of 10002
Our wings are not tired
Do it with a spoon.
aurelia - Dec 10, 2008 11:48:44 am PST #5305 of 10002
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.
Do it with a spoon.
I'm going to use this as my go-to suggestion for everything.
Connie Neil - Dec 10, 2008 11:49:03 am PST #5306 of 10002
brillig
"Why a spoon, my lord?"
Amy - Dec 10, 2008 11:49:57 am PST #5307 of 10002
Because books.
Shouldn't that be a spork?
NoiseDesign - Dec 10, 2008 11:50:36 am PST #5308 of 10002
Our wings are not tired
No, a spoon will hurt more.