Backflung, Barb.
Murk: But you're a God! The Sacred Glorificus! Glory: I'm a God in exile. Far from the Hellfires of Home and sharing my body with an enemy that stabs my boys in their fleshy little stomachs!
'Dirty Girls'
The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 10:19:02 am PDT #662 of 6700
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 10:25:52 am PDT #663 of 6700
“Not dead yet!”
Backflung, Barb.
Heh-- got it.
Yes, there will be hot angsty sex. And she's young, poor thing. When we next pick up with our intrepid heroine, she's three years older and wiser. *g*
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 10:28:08 am PDT #664 of 6700
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Oh, goodie.
::rubs hands in glee::
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 11:00:13 am PDT #665 of 6700
“Not dead yet!”
I just sent you the rest of what I've got for the proposal-- still in rough draft stage, but you can at least get the idea where I'm going with this.
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 11:32:51 am PDT #666 of 6700
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Cool, thanks!
Barb - Aug 16, 2008 6:57:01 am PDT #667 of 6700
“Not dead yet!”
Gah--
I need someone to rescue me from my own head-- I've hit the "OMG, this manuscript totally sucks" portion of the process.
Bleah.
Deena - Aug 16, 2008 10:09:36 am PDT #668 of 6700
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
I'm reading submissions and my brain is a little numb, so I'm asking for help, please?
Zinny finds the hallucinations are persisting.
I dislike this sentence. I'm trying to say why. What is this structure called? Why do I dislike it so? There are words in my brain, but they won't come out!
Barb - Aug 16, 2008 10:14:18 am PDT #669 of 6700
“Not dead yet!”
Deena, what's a little more context? I mean, beyond the sentence being an awkward read.
Laga - Aug 16, 2008 10:16:52 am PDT #670 of 6700
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
I don't know how to explain it grammar-wise but I think "Zinny finds that the hallucinations are persisting." scans a bit better.
SailAweigh - Aug 16, 2008 10:17:48 am PDT #671 of 6700
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
I would change the last word to persistant. Unless the writer feels that hallucinations have their own will power and can carry an active verb participle.