Oh, goodie.
::rubs hands in glee::
Ten percent of nothing is -- let me do the math here -- nothing into nothing, carry the --
Jayne ,'Serenity'
The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 10:28:08 am PDT #664 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 11:00:13 am PDT #665 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
I just sent you the rest of what I've got for the proposal-- still in rough draft stage, but you can at least get the idea where I'm going with this.
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 11:32:51 am PDT #666 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Cool, thanks!
Barb - Aug 16, 2008 6:57:01 am PDT #667 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
Gah--
I need someone to rescue me from my own head-- I've hit the "OMG, this manuscript totally sucks" portion of the process.
Bleah.
Deena - Aug 16, 2008 10:09:36 am PDT #668 of 6681
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
I'm reading submissions and my brain is a little numb, so I'm asking for help, please?
Zinny finds the hallucinations are persisting.
I dislike this sentence. I'm trying to say why. What is this structure called? Why do I dislike it so? There are words in my brain, but they won't come out!
Barb - Aug 16, 2008 10:14:18 am PDT #669 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
Deena, what's a little more context? I mean, beyond the sentence being an awkward read.
Laga - Aug 16, 2008 10:16:52 am PDT #670 of 6681
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
I don't know how to explain it grammar-wise but I think "Zinny finds that the hallucinations are persisting." scans a bit better.
SailAweigh - Aug 16, 2008 10:17:48 am PDT #671 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
I would change the last word to persistant. Unless the writer feels that hallucinations have their own will power and can carry an active verb participle.
Deena - Aug 16, 2008 10:19:27 am PDT #672 of 6681
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
The context... an author sent us a list of her literary awards and her publications, and asked us to read her novel based on a single paragraph, of which that was the pivotal sentence. Her synopsis is...interesting: Jewish witches in New Orleans. A wife has just stumbled off the bus to find her husband, who has been lured away to NO by a weather girl.
...edited to remove the submission paragraph....
I'm trying to decide if I want to ask for more or if I want to tell her 'next time follow the guidelines and good luck.'
eta: In a bit, I'm going to edit the significant portion out since I'm not really comfortable posting someone else's words in public and leaving them there. And edited.
Deena - Aug 16, 2008 10:23:44 am PDT #673 of 6681
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
Huh. That was part of it Ellen, thank you.
Also, thanks Barb. I meant to add that I was sorry about your brain abusing you, but somehow hit post instead. I should have added as well, that I try to give some feedback if the author seems to have tried. It makes submissions reading harder for my brain, but easier on my conscience.
Laga, that particular "that" is often a sore point between authors and editors. I think here I'd leave it out.
I wish I was a little more of a rules editor than an instinctive editor. I get it right most of the time, but sometimes I can't articulate why.