Backflung, Barb.
Heh-- got it.
Yes, there will be hot angsty sex. And she's young, poor thing. When we next pick up with our intrepid heroine, she's three years older and wiser. *g*
Good luck. Try not to kill people. Hands! Hands!
Willow ,'Storyteller'
The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 10:25:52 am PDT #663 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 10:28:08 am PDT #664 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Oh, goodie.
::rubs hands in glee::
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 11:00:13 am PDT #665 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
I just sent you the rest of what I've got for the proposal-- still in rough draft stage, but you can at least get the idea where I'm going with this.
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 11:32:51 am PDT #666 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Cool, thanks!
Barb - Aug 16, 2008 6:57:01 am PDT #667 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
Gah--
I need someone to rescue me from my own head-- I've hit the "OMG, this manuscript totally sucks" portion of the process.
Bleah.
Deena - Aug 16, 2008 10:09:36 am PDT #668 of 6681
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
I'm reading submissions and my brain is a little numb, so I'm asking for help, please?
Zinny finds the hallucinations are persisting.
I dislike this sentence. I'm trying to say why. What is this structure called? Why do I dislike it so? There are words in my brain, but they won't come out!
Barb - Aug 16, 2008 10:14:18 am PDT #669 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
Deena, what's a little more context? I mean, beyond the sentence being an awkward read.
Laga - Aug 16, 2008 10:16:52 am PDT #670 of 6681
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
I don't know how to explain it grammar-wise but I think "Zinny finds that the hallucinations are persisting." scans a bit better.
SailAweigh - Aug 16, 2008 10:17:48 am PDT #671 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
I would change the last word to persistant. Unless the writer feels that hallucinations have their own will power and can carry an active verb participle.
Deena - Aug 16, 2008 10:19:27 am PDT #672 of 6681
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
The context... an author sent us a list of her literary awards and her publications, and asked us to read her novel based on a single paragraph, of which that was the pivotal sentence. Her synopsis is...interesting: Jewish witches in New Orleans. A wife has just stumbled off the bus to find her husband, who has been lured away to NO by a weather girl.
...edited to remove the submission paragraph....
I'm trying to decide if I want to ask for more or if I want to tell her 'next time follow the guidelines and good luck.'
eta: In a bit, I'm going to edit the significant portion out since I'm not really comfortable posting someone else's words in public and leaving them there. And edited.