Comments posted.
I just said that you're pretty. Even when you're covered in...engine grease, you're... No, especially, especially when you're covered in engine grease.
Simon ,'Jaynestown'
The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Liese S. - Aug 14, 2008 12:20:05 pm PDT #648 of 6681
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
Allyson - Aug 14, 2008 12:25:04 pm PDT #649 of 6681
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
MWAH! This was great! Just what I needed to know, where to flesh it out a bit more, what was good so I can keep doing that.
Perfect.
Bless.
Barb - Aug 14, 2008 12:29:32 pm PDT #650 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
Insent, Allyson. And if you want to add me on LJ, I'm Fashionista_35.
Allyson - Aug 14, 2008 12:33:46 pm PDT #651 of 6681
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Great! You're so dead on about the narration, and making that crisper so that the POV is far more clear.
Barb - Aug 14, 2008 12:37:52 pm PDT #652 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
A good cheat, if you want to try it, is to take a section and change the pronouns to "I" for the character whose POV you want to highlight. In other words, sort of a poor man's first person POV-- it's a quick way to delineate where you want the POV shifts.
Liese S. - Aug 14, 2008 12:59:20 pm PDT #653 of 6681
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
Good. I'm fairly new to betaing, so I'm never sure if I'm giving the right kind of feedback. But I'm really excited about this book.
And I almost bought a bathouse today, and I was thinking of you! Normally, I'd be thinking of Jilli, because it had a supercute bat insignia on it.
Stephanie - Aug 14, 2008 2:26:48 pm PDT #654 of 6681
Trust my rage
I'm ste_noni
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 6:07:20 am PDT #655 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
Anybody about for a beta? Longish chapter one-- reworked, of my skating romance. Agent Kate wanted more tension and I'm hoping I accomplished it.
SailAweigh - Aug 15, 2008 6:09:18 am PDT #656 of 6681
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
How long are you willing to wait for input, Barb? I'm at work, where I can't really devote my attention to it, but I'd love to take a look at it.
Barb - Aug 15, 2008 6:15:26 am PDT #657 of 6681
“Not dead yet!”
I'm going to be tinkering all weekend, Sail, so no huge hurry, other than the typical author neuroses. *g* You want I should send?