Wow. What an incredibly arghSMASHSTUPID thing for these ex-employer people to do.

Damn, I wish I had some kind of support to offer, other than "God, how stupid they are, who the hell would do that kind of idiotic thing?" Were I there, I would totally take JZ for manicures and buy her cardamom ice cream and babysit and all kinds of things.

Candles and pep talks and virtual manicures and unmarked graves with a side of *SPLORCHsqueeky* are some of the loveliest gifts a girl could hope for, truly.

I'm getting less and less sad and more and more bitter. And wondering what they think they're going to do. Fine, so I wasn't good enough--but, at the salary they were offering, I truly was about the best they're ever going to get. Executive assistants with the experience level they're looking for flat out will not work for the money they gave me. They can get someone like me and mentor her or him up into what they're looking for, but obviously they don't have the patience for that; what they want, they can't get. No wonder the fucking job was open for over a year. Fuckers.

Bah.

Deb Grabien came over yesterday to keep me company until juliana's arrival, because I was all despairing and panicked after Hec left for Little League practice. She was at the cashier's at Trader Joe's when I called her; when she hung up, the cashier said, "Sounds like someone had a rotten day." "My friend just got fired," Deb said. And the cashier reached behind her and grabbed one of those 3-pack bricks of dark chocolate and dropped it in Deb's bag, saying, "Give her this. I find chocolate always helps."

Those human creatures? Can surprise you with the random kindness and awesome sometimes.

Hi JZ - glad you're feeling better... um, "bitter" is better than "sad and filled with self-doubt", right?

Oh, JZ. Humans *can* be awesome! That's a story I'm going to take out and pet from time to time.

I'm getting less and less sad and more and more bitter.

GOOD. Although my experience is you may vacillate a little (or do I mean oscillate?), this is probably the response that'll be the most useful. And I always support righteous bitterness in everything except my coffee.

Wow, they went a year with that job open? Yeah, it's all making sense now. They're probably evil soul-sucking creatures who ate their last executive assistants, anyway.

Hmm. I really wanted to offer to bring you here (unexciting, but new and different!) or come out there on my spring break, but alas it looks like upwards of $700 to do either one, and that's without considering Matilda. Damn.

Wow, they went a year with that job open? Yeah, it's all making sense now.

So much this.

I would have very much liked a mental health day today, but thought that work keeping me busy might actually be better mentally. So mindless tasks, AHOY!

No wonder the fucking job was open for over a year.

Oh, wow, yeah that says a lot about them.

They're probably evil soul-sucking creatures who ate their last executive assistants, anyway.

seriously. and then said something along the lines of "we're disappointed that you made yourselves too edible."

• **

Dear [person]:

Amazingly enough, the reason why the second item in your email hasn't been publicized is that you didn't tell anyone about it.

Also? Capitalizing every letter of your name in your email profile does not have the effect you intend.

No love. Me

ps - ESP is $1.25 per minute, plus applicable toll charges.

eta: an additional cost of $1,000 per incident will be assessed if you want accuracy.

They can get someone like me and mentor her or him up into what they're looking for, but obviously they don't have the patience for that; what they want, they can't get. No wonder the fucking job was open for over a year. Fuckers.

Good. Fuck 'em. Roll around in the schadenfreude.