I'm getting less and less sad and more and more bitter.

GOOD. Although my experience is you may vacillate a little (or do I mean oscillate?), this is probably the response that'll be the most useful. And I always support righteous bitterness in everything except my coffee.

Wow, they went a year with that job open? Yeah, it's all making sense now. They're probably evil soul-sucking creatures who ate their last executive assistants, anyway.

Hmm. I really wanted to offer to bring you here (unexciting, but new and different!) or come out there on my spring break, but alas it looks like upwards of $700 to do either one, and that's without considering Matilda. Damn.

Wow, they went a year with that job open? Yeah, it's all making sense now.

So much this.

I would have very much liked a mental health day today, but thought that work keeping me busy might actually be better mentally. So mindless tasks, AHOY!

No wonder the fucking job was open for over a year.

Oh, wow, yeah that says a lot about them.

They're probably evil soul-sucking creatures who ate their last executive assistants, anyway.

seriously. and then said something along the lines of "we're disappointed that you made yourselves too edible."

• **

Dear [person]:

Amazingly enough, the reason why the second item in your email hasn't been publicized is that you didn't tell anyone about it.

Also? Capitalizing every letter of your name in your email profile does not have the effect you intend.

No love. Me

ps - ESP is $1.25 per minute, plus applicable toll charges.

eta: an additional cost of $1,000 per incident will be assessed if you want accuracy.

They can get someone like me and mentor her or him up into what they're looking for, but obviously they don't have the patience for that; what they want, they can't get. No wonder the fucking job was open for over a year. Fuckers.

Good. Fuck 'em. Roll around in the schadenfreude.

IOTrivialN, Electric pencil sharpeners are awesome!

Do people use non-electric pencil sharpeners anymore? I mean, when they're not typing on a computer, texting, etc?

Yes. Public school, man. I'm surprised we don't still use ditto machines.

What was your favorite school supply? Mine were:

• pencil sharpeners
• mechanical pencils
• pen with multi-colored ink
• pencil tray with roll-top cover

Do people use non-electric pencil sharpeners anymore? I mean, when they're not typing on a computer, texting, etc?

I have two at home: one for my pencils, and one for my eyeliner.