What is aish? I'm scared to go there now.

Of course, I'm also restraining myself from putting an ad on craigslist, because I'd rather give meeting people in person a shot (what can I say? I'm picky on physical attraction, so online dating rarely works). But boredom and internet are a dangerous combination...

I've met some pretty great dates on the internet. But not so much craigslist. I'm a big fan of OK Cupid.

What is aish? I'm scared to go there now.

It's a Jewish group. Their stated purpose is to get less-religious Jews to become more religious. They're somewhat cult-like. And they focus a whole lot of getting Jews to marry other Jews.

(I've got a friend who went to study at their program in Israel. There were several months when she was learning and not interacting with guys at all, and then a few months of dating with the intention of marriage -- the head of the women's school would set up dates with the head of the men's school. She ended up coming back to the states and marrying a religious Jewish guy that she'd been seeing on and off before going to Israel.)

I haven't tried to meet someone in so long, I'm not even sure I would remember how.

I will say that I'm not sure that a list would've helped me, in as much as I was dating a guy who would have met all but one thing I would like, but I cheated on him with the guy (I eventually married) who I told "I just need to date someone like you." Take that as you will.

Also, I have tried to keep up, but between being drugged (wicked cold) and the weekend I don't remember much except that there's much good vibage needed for my bitches. All I have is yours.

Edited to close quotes-still drugged

So odd, Hil. I can tell you know why I married my DH, and I guess that if I had made a list some of those things would be on it. However, I dated a lot of guys that were smart, readers, and more or less serious- minded people. Oddly, a number of guys I dated, but not so seriously - had one major thing in common with Matt , and that is enthusiasm for life. I think you have to date some people you know aren't forever to know what you really want. and Honestly, it is only looking back that I can say which guys had what characteristics in common with DH.

Eep, Cass, hope the hardest part is, in fact, behind you. Anti-panic~ma, and best of luck to you and niecelet.

{{{Darcey and her people}}}

I got nothing on dating strategies. Or tactics. My mom had a friend in college who made a list of the qualities she wanted in a husband, and found a guy that met them all, and it apparently worked out okay for her. My sister-in-law met a guy on j-date who was perfect for her on paper but who eventually cheated on her and broke her heart. So, who knows?

Edited because wow my typing is bad. I blame NaNoWriMo

I think much depends on what's on your list. Right before I met DH I realized that every person I had ever dated up to that point had been deeply ambivalent about the relationship, and I decided that I was tired of that dynamic, I wanted someone who was madly in love with me for a change. Turns out I'm way happier when I don't have to second guess the relationship.

And they focus a whole lot of getting Jews to marry other Jews.

You know, I'm always surprised at how many otherwise secular Jews feel this way. I know a lot of women who aren't deeply religious who feel they can only marry a Jew.

You know, I'm always surprised at how many otherwise secular Jews feel this way. I know a lot of women who aren't deeply religious who feel they can only marry a Jew.

If it's someone who's planning on having kids, I can absolutely understand it. It's not about religion, it's about cultural identity.

dog~ma for Darcey.

I think much depends on what's on your list.

Yeah, I once broke up with a great guy who I just knew wasn't for me. It was a very hard decision. One of the best post-break-up exercises (maybe from John Grey?) I did was make one list of reasons why he wasn't right for me and another of qualities and characteristics I wish he had embodied. Personally, it's all too easy for me to get caught up in the whoa! and so I keep it as a reminder of what actually makes me happy in the long run.