I don't know which is funnier, imagining the fart or imagining Cruise going "OK, who did that!"

The silence was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.

How do they intend to find the person by looking at film footage? Look for a puff of smoke around the ass area??

How do they intend to find the person by looking at film footage?

Find the person with a neo-Nazi-esque look of triumph for having spoiled such a sacred moment?

Or anyone who's snickering. Or who looks relieved.

Or anyone who's snickering. Or who looks relieved.

Or seeing if anyone smelt it. Because that person most likely dealt it.

Look for a puff of smoke around the ass area??

Goodness, what kinds of gas are YOU passing? Unless they were all in a bathtub, the emitted evidence itself should not be visible. Right?

I cannot explain it, but the mere idea of Tom Cruise indignant in a gigantic bathtub, surrounded by bubbles and red-faced crew, the crew possibly in hip-waders as they ready their fluffy microphones and cameras, is making me laugh so hard I cry.

It's evil gas. Perhaps it shows up.

From IMDB:

George Clooney has warned new girlfriend Sarah Larson he'll never marry her, because all his relationships are doomed to failure. After divorcing Talia Balsam in 1993, the 46-year-old heartthrob has had a succession of short term flings - and he confesses he is a commitment-phobe. He says, "I'm never at home and every woman gets sick of it. If I was them, I wouldn't put up with me for too long - and they don't. I wonder if I'm going to be relegated to three-year relationships for the rest of my life. My trouble is that I keep taking jobs that take me further away from home."

See, I'd totally "settle" for a series of three year relationships, were I built adequately. Settle for three Clooney years? Where the hell do I sign up?

Also:

Boston-based Brigham's Ice Cream Co. has announced the results of a survey it conducted over the summer to create a top-ten list of one-liners in movies. From what it said were thousands of entries, it narrowed the list to these:
1. "Are you talkin' to ME?," Taxi Driver;
2. "Go ahead. "Make my day," Dirty Harry;
3. "Here's lookin' at you, kid," Casablanca;
4. "I'll be back," The Terminator;
5. "I'll have what she's having," When Harry Met Sally;
6. "Life is like a box of chocolates," Forrest Gump;
7. "May the force be with you," Star Wars;
8. "You can't handle the truth!," A Few Good Men;
9. "You had me at hello," Jerry McGuire;
10. "You're gonna need a bigger boat!," Jaws.
Conspicuously missing from the list was perhaps the most famous movie line of all: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," from Gone with the Wind, and the historic, "You ain't heard nothin' yet," from The Jazz Singer, the first sound movie. (And some may wonder about the non-inclusion of Garbo's "I vant to be alone" from Grand Hotel and the single word "Rosebud" from Citizen Kane.

I wonder how many of the people who got the Taxi Driver quote to the top have seen the movie?

They also left out, "Get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

I cannot explain it, but the mere idea of Tom Cruise indignant in a gigantic bathtub, surrounded by bubbles and red-faced crew, the crew possibly in hip-waders as they ready their fluffy microphones and cameras, is making me laugh so hard I cry.

Well it wasn't before, but it sure as hell is now.

The evil government AI is coming....

Do you blog like a terrorist?

You might think your anonymous online rants are oh-so-clever. But they'll give you away, too. A federally-funded artificial intelligence lab is figuring out how to track people over the Internet, based on how they write.

The University of Arizona's ultra-ambitious "Dark Web" project "aims to systematically collect and analyze all terrorist-generated content on the Web," the National Science Foundation notes. And that analysis, according to the Arizona Star, includes a program which "identif[ies] and track[s] individual authors by their writing styles."

I wonder how they can be sure they're getting all terrorist content... maybe they just look at the everybody on the internet, just to be safe.

eta: more:

Using advanced techniques such as Web spidering, link analysis, content analysis, authorship analysis, sentiment analysis and multimedia analysis, Chen and his team can find, catalogue and analyze extremist activities online. According to Chen, scenarios involving vast amounts of information and data points are ideal challenges for computational scientists, who use the power of advanced computers and applications to find patterns and connections where humans can not.

One of the tools developed by Dark Web is a technique called Writeprint, which automatically extracts thousands of multilingual, structural, and semantic features to determine who is creating 'anonymous' content online. Writeprint can look at a posting on an online bulletin board, for example, and compare it with writings found elsewhere on the Internet. By analyzing these certain features, it can determine with more than 95 percent accuracy if the author has produced other content in the past. The system can then alert analysts when the same author produces new content, as well as where on the Internet the content is being copied, linked to or discussed.

[link]

Goodness, what kinds of gas are YOU passing? Unless they were all in a bathtub, the emitted evidence itself should not be visible. Right?

Uh, this was why I made the joke. Gas isn't visible so watching film footage ain't gonna do it.