Timelies all!

Well, I've managed to do a real number on the little toe on my right foot. I smacked it into the corner of the dresser last night. Now it's puffy and turning interesting shades of purple. Also, it hurts to move it. Feh...

I once stopped traffic....because the car stopped to apologise to me for the rudeness of the jerks in the car in front. I was gobsmacked by the apology more than whatever the jerks had yelled, and I'm not sure I even thanked them.

There are just people not wired right. They don't have a delay between the formation of words in their brain and their expulsion from their mouths.

I used to get yelled at a lot. Nothing as cruel as some of what's been said here, but do you really need to slow down and stick your head out the window to shriek "Dennis Rodman!!" or "Grace Jones!!!" at me? Really?

So...does that mean I'm really Pete?

I had to stop and figure out whether you meant Jilli's Pete or Pete Wentz.

falls over laughing

That's ... the funniest notion I've seen all day.

That's ... the funniest notion I've seen all day.

The funniest part, for me, is that that's not the first time I've seen this confusion.

The funniest part, for me, is that that's not the first time I've seen this confusion.

Did you know that Pete Wentz was the one who unveiled the Halo 3 figure at the Vegas Madame Tussaud's? We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

Can Tom Cruise get any wackier?

Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute's silence.

The Hollywood actor - who is currently shooting World War II drama Valkyrie in Berlin - had paused filming to honour the anti-Nazi heroes portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to use the tribute to break wind.

Fellow star Christian Berkel - who plays anti-Hitler plotter Albrecht Mertz von Quirbheim - said, "The film's director Bryan Singer, the screenplay writer Christopher McQuarrie and Tom Cruise asked us all to observe a moment's silence shortly before we started filming."

A source on the set told Britain's Daily Star newspaper, "Fortunately the mystery gassy man didn't completely ruin the touching gesture.

"Quite rightly, Tom is furious. We were filming at the Bendler Block in Germany where the anti-Nazis were executed."

The source said Cruise decided to ask for the minute's silence to show respect for the deceased and appease the German government, who only allowed the movie to be filmed if post-war Germany was shown in a positive light.

The source added, "So for somebody to pass wind in a situation like that is unforgivable."

The silence was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.

This former rural girl showed off for the college boys by drinking them under the table and then going home alone without exposing herself to anyone!

Yes, but how many women dare aspire to Shriftian standards. Not many.

One of the more amusing clashes of cultures from a university out in the boondocks was the night the zombies met the flasher girls. Like many college towns, we have a zombie walk every year on some random night close to Halloween. People dress as zombies and gather on campus, then wander the downtown as a staggering, moaning, mob. It’s fun to follow the zombies, and watch people’s reactions: there is some screaming when they burst through the back doors of bars; pedestrians will see them, turn, and hurry away in another direction; occasionally a car will approach, turn around, and go the other way. Just to be safe, I guess. It’s considered to be good manners to buy a particularly picturesque zombie a drink, because carrying a purse, wallet or credit card detracts from zombie style, and they must rely on the kindness of non-zombies.

One year the zombies were approaching the downtown square when a pickup truck full of drunk and apparently fearless girls pulled up to look at them. The two groups stared at each other for a moment and then tried to communicate. Zombies: “Uhhh!!!” Girls: “Party!!!” (flash breasts). Zombies: “Uhhh!!!!” (much moaning and Zombie gesticulation). Girls: “Zombie Party!!!” (flash and bounce. and bounce again). Zombies: “Uhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Frenetic zombie movements, groans, ripping of tattered clothing, and tripping over dragged legs).

This odd conversation went on for a couple more cycles, until the girls sped off. It was one of the strangest social interactions I’ve ever seen. I guess it’s true that college helps to broaden your cultural horizons.

Maybe Tom Cruise suspected that the crewmember was a Slitheen.

We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

Pete Wentz is a BNF who slashes himself with his best friend. He makes it up before I can think it.

Maybe Tom Cruise suspected that the crewmember was a Slitheen.

That risks making Tom Cruise way too cool.