Nilly's Yom Kippur posts always make me wish she had offended me in some way so that I could participate in her process.
That's a great idea.
Nilly, remember how you gush over pictures of Matilda and Dylan and Dillo and all the other Buffista babies and Buffista toddlers and Buffista kids proper, and how you remember all their birthdays and all our birth stories and always have kind and loving and insightful things to say about our families?
Well, for all your professed love of all our babies, I notice that you have
never once
gone to the trouble of getting a new visa, investing your entire life savings in an open-ended round-trip ticket to and from the US with connecting flights all across the entire continent of North America, and being constantly at the ready to abandon your teaching career and your family to hop on a plane at a moment's notice to soothe our babies for us when they wake us up at two in the morning. Does that seem right to you?
It's a darn good thing you went and posted that lovely, gracious apology that reminded me how lucky we all are to have met you even once, and to have you present in our lives even as pixels on a screen, or I might never have forgiven you for being one-seventeenth of a degree less than practically perfect in every way.
Reality show casting call:
We’re looking for geniuses from all walks of life to become part of Sci Fi’s “Brain Trust” –– a super–smart swat team to tackle previously unsolvable problems. But we’re leaving global warming and world peace to the other guys –– the “Brain Trust” will solve the every–day, insidious annoyances that vex us all. What’s the most efficient strategy to snag the best parking spot at the mall? How can you make it statistically more likely that you’ll get some action tonight? SCI FI is going to put the best minds and most original thinkers on the case!
We’re looking for people from all disciplines and all walks of life –– from rocket scientists to backyard inventors to puzzle fanatics. The only requirements are ingenuity, a knack for out of the box problem solving, and an outgoing personality!
It's not posited as a method for killing humans, but it would be a horrible way to go
I don't think it'd work on humans, unless it was some mutant giant bees.
::prepares script pitch for SciFi Channel::
I dunno. We breathe much more specifically than that hornet. They'd just have to be specifically concentrated bees.
Reality show casting call:
Crap. I was all excited by this until I got to the last requirement.
D'ya suppose I could fake it?
They'd just have to be specifically concentrated bees.
Plus they'd have to know where our breathing weakness was.
So we're safe, as long as we're not infiltrated by bee spies.
I know it is stupid, but I can't help it.
Given studies like this one, I'm not so sure: Flu shots don’t save seniors' lives, study finds
one-seventeenth
That's the exact place in your post where I could contain it no longer, for the record.
And, and - I don't need to do another visa. The one I have holds for ten years. And it's not all my life savings to buy a ticket, it's just a lot.
And my best friend and her two adorable kids (one is ten months old and has just started standing, and the other is almost three years old and in some pictures he already looks like the kid he's going to grow up into, and I can't put into words the amount of missing them that I do every day, and that's even without getting their mommy in the mix) - well, they're all in Palo Alto for at least two years, so most chances are, I'll visit there, sometime in the foreseeable future.
Um, wait, that wasn't the point of that post, wasn't it? But it's what's on my mind a lot, so there you go.
Plus they'd have to know where our breathing weakness was.
All they have to do is cover every surface. That'll get them inside your nose in no time at all, and then soon your mouth and into your lungs. Bingo! Deadikins.
