Heh. In honor of shark week, the following is from Gilbert Arenas' blog (which, btw, looks like it's a hoot):
There Are No Such Thing as Shark Attacks
I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.
There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.
I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.
We’re humans. We live on land.
Sharks live in water.
So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.
A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.
The real reason I shouldn't travel for business: I don't want to go home and crawl into bed, I want to go to a
hotel
and crawl into bed. Unlimited a/c! Many many pillows! Super white sheets! Etc.
A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack.
"....Plumber, ma'am."
"I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?"
"Candygram."
"Candygram, my foot! You're the shark, and you know it!"
"I'm only a dolphin, ma'am..."
Bush responded with a cool, “I don’t.” The Mirror reports that Bush then “snorted disdainfully” and “walked away to laughter.”
I did not vote for President Fratboy. I
did not vote
for President Fratboy. Oh my god.
Press Release for the FNL dvds.
So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.
That makes no sense! When a shark bites you it's called "trespassing?"
It might be called shark biting you because you are trespassing but then he should have said that.
ION, I wish I could figure out how to do more than put my hair up in a ponytail. Am bored with it!
What if a shark and a human meet on neutral territory - say, a swamp or bog?
eta: Or if both happen to be skydiving?
I've pet a shark.
That's all I have.
Lunch cannot come soon enough. But I've got so much freaking work to do. Ahrg.
OTOH, I'm dressed absolutely summer adorkable. Black capris, black silk sweater tank, federal blue unbuttoned button down shirt, black mj sketchers. It's weird.
