A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack.

"....Plumber, ma'am."

"I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?"

"Candygram."

"Candygram, my foot! You're the shark, and you know it!"

"I'm only a dolphin, ma'am..."

Bush responded with a cool, “I don’t.” The Mirror reports that Bush then “snorted disdainfully” and “walked away to laughter.”

I did not vote for President Fratboy. I did not vote for President Fratboy. Oh my god.

Press Release for the FNL dvds.

t loves on Steph

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

That makes no sense! When a shark bites you it's called "trespassing?"

It might be called shark biting you because you are trespassing but then he should have said that.

ION, I wish I could figure out how to do more than put my hair up in a ponytail. Am bored with it!

What if a shark and a human meet on neutral territory - say, a swamp or bog?

eta: Or if both happen to be skydiving?

I've pet a shark.

That's all I have.

Lunch cannot come soon enough. But I've got so much freaking work to do. Ahrg.

OTOH, I'm dressed absolutely summer adorkable. Black capris, black silk sweater tank, federal blue unbuttoned button down shirt, black mj sketchers. It's weird.

ION, I wish I could figure out how to do more than put my hair up in a ponytail. Am bored with it!

You need a new haircut!

I've pet a shark.

They have very rough skin, don't they?

Joins Aimee in the Teppy love corner.

I'm unduly psyched for this weekend's intro to pole dancing class.

Apparently when one of the krav employees went, the class before her emptied and four women in krav shirts poured out. I don't know what it is, but when I asked one of the guys who runs the school if he can put poles up, there was a disturbing glint of the eye to his assent.

What you might want after you have begun a Level 1 Session:

Workout shorts

Dancer's thong/g-string

Push-up bra

T-shirt or short dress

Six-inch platform heels -- yes, six inch!!!

Music: this is the wave you ride your routine on. Choose three songs that you love, current, from your childhood or whatever inspires you. You can strip to anything from Bing Crosby to Jay-Z to Sigur Ros. No music is off limits. For your first session, choose something on the very slow side.

That just cracks me up.

I'm sure there's a big argument to be made both for and against pole dancing from an oh-so-serious sexual politics point of view, but mostly it makes me laugh and is like nothing I've done before, so I have to know.