I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!

Anya ,'Showtime'


Mejiaville

Jeff writes up the show promos for Buffy, Angel, and Firefly; he also does the Previouslys. Love him muchly, for he sees what we don't and reports it back to us.


Jeff Mejia - Oct 06, 2002 11:49:43 pm PDT #13 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

The previously took up too much room! Here is the rest of it, for the premiere of Angel, "Deep Down"

Angel: "Connor!"

Cut to Connor and Justine pushing the box into the ocean.

Angel: "Never forget that I'm your father and that I love you."

Cut to a reaction shot of Connor as the coffin dives into the water.

Cut to a shot of a glowy Cordelia ascending to who knows where.

Cordelia: "I know somehow, it's all going to be all right."

Cut to an underwater shot of Angel's box sinking to the ocean floor.

Connor: "You don't get to die. You get to live, forever."

Cut to Angel's face visible through the mesh window of the box as it sinks into the water.

ELAPSED TIME: 1:30


Jeff Mejia - Oct 08, 2002 10:21:55 pm PDT #14 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the promo break down for next weeks Buffy episode, "Help"

Narrator: Next Tuesday, on an all-new Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

We open on a shot of Buffy and Xander, sneaking into a funeral home at night, as they raise the lid to a coffin and look inside.

Cut to a shot from the coffin towards those looking in, where we see Buffy, Xander, and Dawn peering at the body in the coffin. Buffy is holding the flashlight that illuminates the scene.

Flash cut to a daytime shot, where we see Buffy talking to Principal Wood in his office.

Buffy: "I don't usually get a head's up before somebody dies."

Reverse angle to Principal Wood, seated at his desk, with a surprised look on his face.

Principal Wood: "What do you mean, usually?"

Narrator: Counselor Buffy is on the job.

Flash cut to Buffy talking to various students. We see:

A long-haired brunette with a "duh" look on her face.

A guy wearing a sweat jacket with the hood up and on his head.

A kid with bad teeth and horn-rimmed glasses, wearing a goofy grin.

Cut to a shot of Buffy rubbing her forehead as though she has a headache from all of her problems.

Cut to an exterior night scene, where Buff is talking to Xander.

Buffy: "Most of the problems are weird and tricky."

Reverse cut to Xander.

Xander: "This job's perfect for you."

Narrator: But the students have summoned up a problem that they can't handle.

Cut to a shot of people wrapped in bright red robes, holding lit candles and walking in a circle. This may be the library.

Crane up to look down on the circle. We see that the robed ones are circling what appear to be a pile of papers, with some other substance drawn in a circle around it.

A fireball seems to come out of the circle in an effect to cut to the next scene, where we see Buffy in this library turn and look at a horned demon. The demon looks a lot like Skip from Angel, but it is not him (there are differences in the makeup).

Cut to a shot of Buffy weilding a flaming brand, then reverse cut to the demon being driven off by the flame.

Cut back to Buffy, making one of her trademark quips in battle.

Buffy: " That is going on your permanent record."

Cut to a close up of the demon, then cut to another shot of Buffy whaling on him.

Close with a final shot of Buffy swinging her flaming weapon.

Cut Buffy logo.

Narrator: An all-new Buffy, next Tuesday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.

Grr. Arrgh.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:20


Jeff Mejia - Oct 08, 2002 11:01:51 pm PDT #15 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the previously on break down for tonight's Buffy episode, "Same Time, Same Place":

(Giles) Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer....

We open on a brief shot of Dark!Willow blasting Warren with magic power, from "Villains"

Cut to the shot of Warren being flayed.

Cut to Giles riding his horse in the countryside, from "Lessons"

Willow (VO): "I killed people, Giles."

Giles (VO): "I've not forgotten."

Cut to Giles and Willow talking to each other about what happened over the summer.

Willow: "When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me. Instead you go all Dubledore on me."

Cut to a reaction shot of Giles, with a wry half-smile on his face.

In scenes from "Beneath You", we see Giles and Willow talking in the shed just before Willow take off back to America.

We see a two-shot of Giles and Willow, then cut to a close up of Willow.

Willow: "I don't want to go back home just so I can screw up again."

Reverse cut to Giles.

Giles: "What exactly are you afraid of?"

Back to Willow

Willow: "But what if I go all veiny and homicidal again and what if..."

Back to Giles, who has his head turned away from Willow, looking down on the ground. He turns his head back to Willow.

Giles: "-They don't take you back?"

Cut back one more time to Willow, looking up at Giles in recognition that he was right.

Now we see the scene at the Bronze, where Xander and the gang confront Anya.

Xander: "Did you turn this nice lady's ex into a giant worm monster?"

Cut back to Anya, seated at a table.

Anya: "You wish it, I dish it. I thought we were clear on this."

Cut to Nancy, looking horrified.

Now we go to the scene in the church. We see Spike, looking anguished, talking to Buffy.

Spike: "It's what you wanted, right?"

Cut to a close-up of Buffy.

Buffy: "Tell me what happened."

Cut back to a close up of Spike, but instead of facing directly to the camera (and Buffy), he is turned away from her and looking back over his left shoulder.

Spike: "Why does a man do what he must... for her."

Cut to a two-shot, where we see Buffy in the foreground, warily looking at Spike, who is walking away from her and towards the cross at the front of the church.

Buffy (VO, whispering): "Your soul."

Reverse to a shot from behind the cross, as we see Spike walking up to it and Buffy standing further back, looking on. Buffy in bathed in light, while Spike walks in the shadow.

Cut to a close up of Buffy as it finally clicks.

Buffy: "You got your soul back."

ELAPSED TIME - 0:35


Jeff Mejia - Oct 13, 2002 10:40:20 pm PDT #16 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the breakdown of the promo for the next Angel epsiode, "The House Always Wins" :

Narrator: Angel's back in Vegas...

We open with a shot of Angel cruisnig down the Vegas Strip in the Angelmobile.

Cut to a shot of the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada" sign, then we see a shot of the Stardust, the Riviera, and Circus Circus.

Cut to an interior scene, where we see Angel, Fred, and Gun standing in a room or hallway or corridor, surrounded by a bunch of people as though they are waiting in line or something. In the foreground is a woman we'll see later. She just looks as though she is waiting to get in. The gang are talking to each other.

Gunn: "You knew the Rat Pack?"

Angel: "I met 'em. "

Quick cut to a closer shot of the gang.

Angel: "Once."

Flash cut to a showgirl who is standing in a hotel room or hallway. She is wearing a pair of fake red horns on her head, as though she is playing a demon or something in a review.

The shot freezes on the woman, and a graphic similar to the Ocean's Eleven advertising campaign kicks in. We see the shot of the girl converted to a black and white photograph played against a red background.

Narrator: The sin....

Big large letters "THE SIN" appear next to the photograph of the girl.

We zoom back into live action on the girl, as she turns towards her right and reacts to something charging her.

Girl in red horns: "Aieee!"

We pan to the right of the girl, and we see that Lorne is attacking her with a liquor or seltzer bottle, bringing it down with a clubbing motion. Lorne is wearing a purple coat with orange trim.

Cut to a different shot of Lorne in the same outfit. This time, he in on stage, holding a microphone. Behind him some scantily-clad showgirls, all wearing fake horns, are parading down a set of steps.

The shot freezes on Lorne, and he gets the Ocean's Eleven treatment. This time, his black and white shot is framed against a blue background.

Narrator The lust...

Big large letters "THE LUST" appear in frame next to Lorne's picture.

We pan back to Lorn'es left to reveal more of the show girls.

Lorne: "Hey! Strut it, girls!"

Cut to a few close ups of the show girls walking across the stage, with a decided emphasis on just their bodies.

Then we cut to my favorite shot. We see an extreme close up of Angel's head, as we see Angel standing ina large room filled with slot machines. Angel has what only can be described as a dopey look on his face.

Angel gets the graphics treatment. His head shot is framed against a green background.

Narrator: The greed...

Large "THE GREED" letters appear next to Angel's mugshot.

Zoom back out to Angel standing in the slot room, as we see that he is staring at something.

Reverse to reveal that he is staring at the wheels of a quarter slot machine. We don't get to see what the slot combination ends up with.

Lorne (VO): "You lose here, you don't get it back."

Fade to a shot of the woman seen earler standing in front of the gang, as she spins the slot machine. The woman looks as though she is going to faint.

Cut to black.

Cut to a shot of Angel clobbering somebody with a right hook.

Cut to a reverse angle of the shot, where we see that Angel is outside an establishment, beating up somebody wearing something similar to a waiter's uniform.

Cut to a third shot, where we see Angel deliver a power kick to another somebody how approached him from behind while he was beating up the first guy. It looks like the second attacker may be a demon of some kind.

Narrator: In a casino where destinies are on the table...

Cut a different scene, an interior, perhaps a parking garage. In the foreground of the shot, we see the fake red horns that the earlier girl was wearing, laying on the concrete floor. We see three pairs of legs running away from the horns (and the camera) towards a door at the end of the hallway. The front pair of legs appears to be one of the showgirls. The pair of legs on the left belong to someone wearing dark green pants and a billowy green coat. The pair of legs on the right belong to somebody wearing black pants (can't tell the material).

Cut to a shot of the showgirl (san horns) turn and look up to somebody holding aa gun to her face.

Flash cut to a close up of Angel, presumably in the same interior that the red-horned girl was in in her first shot.

Cut to a shot of two gentleman talking. To the left if a man, dressed in a very nice suit, who looks similar to Gunn. Seated next to him is some middle-aged guy.

Other guy: "A vampire?"

Suit guy: "With a soul."

Cut to a shot of the Other guy, flipping a casino chip to...

Angel, who we see in a reverse shot. Angel catches the chip and looks at it.

Cut to a shot of a spinning roulette wheel.

Narrator: One bet could cost - an eternity.

(VO) "House wins!"

Cut to a shot of Angel as he lowers his head and eyes.

Cut to a final shot of the Strip, as the shot freezes into one last black and white shot framed in a blue background. Cue the Angel logo into the shot.

Narrator: An all-new Angel, next week on the WB's big Sunday.

Grr. Arrgh.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:30


Jeff Mejia - Oct 15, 2002 9:35:42 pm PDT #17 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the promo for the next Buffy episode, which my sources say is named "Selfless" :

Narrator: Next Tuesday, on an all-new Buffy....

We open on a shot inside a classroom, where we see Xander talking to Anya in her demon guise. We are looking from behind Xander. The camera pans to the right and focuses in on Anya, who brings her arm back as though to hit Xander.

We cut to a different shot and location, presumably Anya's apartment, where we see Anya, again in demon guise, clock Buffy with a backhand to the jaw. This is probably at night. Buffy is wearing a black leather coat. The shot cuts to a different angle where we see Buffy flying backwards from the blow.

Narrator: Anya's had a 1200-year career as a world-class vengence demon.

A graphic "1200 YEAR CAREER" flashes across the screen, then we cut to...

An outdoors day location shot, where we see Anya standing next to D'Hoffryn. Anya has long black hair in this shot and looks vaguely gypsy-ish.

Cut to a shot of some men in animal skins running away from the camera, again in an outdoors day location shot. There might be a horned Viking helmet on the ground in this shot, which might indicagte that this is from the beginning of Anya's vengence career.

Flash cut to an interior shot, where we see someone caught on fire running through an extravagently appointed dining room, say 17th century France, perhaps.

Cut to a shot of Anya, seated and wearing fancy clothes. (Transcriber's note: I have no idea what era these clothes come from. To me, it really looks like something from the 1920's. Anya has a white feather in her (black) hair. We'll see). Anya is talking to another woman seated to her left.

Narrator: Will it all end here?

Quick cut to Buffy in a black sleeveless top, standing in a classroom, then flash cut to Buffy seated in her couch, wearing the same top. A cut or red welt or scratch can be seen running along her left collar bone.

Buffy: "I have to kill Anya."

Cut back to Anya's apartment, where we pick up on the scene where Anya, in demon makeup, is fighting Buffy. We first see a close up of Anya talking.

Anya: "Are there any friends of yours left that you haven't tried to kill?"

Cut to a long shot where we see Buffy charge towards Anya, then cut to an angle behind Any where we see that Buffy is bringing a sword up to attack her.

Buffy swings the sword, then we cut to an angle behind Buffy where we see that Anya ducks the blade.

Buffy recovers from the miss, and thrusts the sword forward.

We cut to a side angle, where we see Buffy bringing her right elbow backwards into Anya's back and pushing Anya into a wall behind her.

Buffy wheels around and brings the sword forward in a thrust.

We reverse the angle to see Anya with her back to the wall and her arms raised up.

Cut to a shot of Buffy bringing the sword higher up.

Narrator: Shall we leave you in suspense?

Cut to a close up of Anya's chest as the sword stops right at the surface of the body.

Narrator: Or get to the point?

The moment pauses, then the sword plunges further into Anya's chest.

The camera pans up to Anya's face as she screams in pain.

Anya: "Aaagh!"

Cue the Buffy logo.

Narrator: That's just the beginning of an all-new Buffy, next Tuesday at 8, 7 Central on UPN.

Grr. Arrgh.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:20


Jeff Mejia - Oct 15, 2002 10:10:00 pm PDT #18 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the breakdown for the previously on for the Buffy episode "Help":

(Giles) Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

We open on scenes from last weeks episode, "Same Time, Same Place".

We see Willow walking towards the ruins of the Magic Box, as Anya exits the store carrrying various salvaged items in a box.

Reverse to a shot of Willow coming towards the camera.

Willow: "Anya."

Reverse back to see Anya standing in the doorway, clutching the box.

Anya: "I thought you were with Giles, studying how not to kill people."

Reverse cut back to Willow.

Willow: "I just got back."

Cut to a scene from the end of "Lessons":

We see Principal Wood talking to Buffy in the hallway. The first shot is a close up of Principal Wood.

Reverse to a shot of Buffy talking to the pricipal.

Buffy: "Are you asking me to be a counselor?"

We cut to a quick shot from "Beneath You", where we see Crazy!Spike in the basement screaming as the earth rumbles.

Anya (VO): "Spike's insane in the school basement..."

Cut back to Anya and Willow talking outside the Magic Box.

Anya "Xander's there doing construction on the new gym."

Cut to a scene from "Beneath You", where we see Buffy and Principal Wood talking in the main office.

Buffy: "I was, uh, wondering why I..."

Reverse cut to Principal Wood.

Principal Wood: "Have this job?"

Reverse back to Buffy.

Buffy: "I still haven't finished college."

Pan out to a longer shot showing both Principal Wood and Buffy standing and talking in the office.

Principal Wood: "These students need someone around here who understands them. I need someone who understands these students."

Finish on a close up of Buffy.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:25


Jeff Mejia - Oct 18, 2002 9:06:53 pm PDT #19 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the promo break down for next week's Firefly epsidoe, which I have listed as "Out of Gas":

Narrator: Next week...

Narrator: In the farthest reaches of space...

We open with a shot of Serenity flying through space.

Cut to Mal on deck, falling in and out of shadow as he looks up at something.

Cut to Kaylee, standing on deck and smiling. (Transcriber's note: I love her smile.)

Cut to a shot of the crew seated at a table and eating. We see Zoe furthest to the left in the shot. Next to her is Wash, who turns to his right and looks at Book, who is seated next to him. Everyone looks more or less happy.

We here a rumbling noise, then cut to the other side of the table. We see Mal seated furthest from the shot, Jayne in the middle (wearing his napkin as a bib), and Simon (or Inara?) seated closest to the camera. There are lit candles on the table. Jayne looks up to the ceiling.

Jayne: "What was that?"

Cut to a shot further away from the table, where we see most of the crew seated, but we see Kaylee standing up and walking towards the camera as she looks towards the ceiling.

Narrator: ...all hell is about to break loose.

Cut to a shot of Mal rushing forward into a corridor.

Reverse to an angle behind Mal, as we see at the end of the corridor an explosion, followed by a fireball as Mal slams the doors to the corridor shut.

We see another shot of the explosion in the corridor.

Cut back to the shot of Kaylee looking up at the ceiling.

As Kaylee is looking up, we notice a light in front of her increasing in intensity. Zoe leaps up and pushe Kaylee out of the way of the fireball that suddenly appears.

Zoe: "Aaaghh!"

Cut to a shot of Wash, as he is faced away from the action, and turns towards the camera as he hears the eplosion.

Wash: "Zoe!"

We pan across a wild shot of the crew inside the bay, then cut to a shot of the corridor (or some location on board) in flames.

We see Mal running through the mess hall.

Mal: "Seal off everything that leads below decks!"

Cut to a shot of Inara helping Kaylee to her feet.

Mal (VO): "Do it now!"

Cut to Simon coming up to a junciton in the ship, while Jayne looms before him.

Simon: "Zoe's been badly hurt."

Cut to a close up of Jayne.

Jayne: "Sorry Doc, nobody leaves."

Reverse angle back to Simon.

Simon: "If you don't let me through, she could die."

Cut to a shot of Zoe laid out on deck, while Simon checks her pulse. I imagine that is Wash that is holding Zoe's hand in his.

Cut back to a shot of Jayne.

Jayne: "If I let you through, we all die."

Cut to Wash looking on with concern. Kaylee can be seen looking on, slumped against the back wall.

Narrator: Now, this crew's worst nightmare...

Fade to black, then fade back in to see Book followed by Mal walking purposefully through a door on board. Inara looks on in concern.

Cut to a solo shot of Inara, looking stern.

We then see River, hiding behind a beam.

River: "They're afraid we're going to run out of air."

Fade to black, then we fade in to see Book, Wash, Inara, and Kaylee seated, either in a cabin or in Inara's shuttle.

Narrator: ...is about to come true.

Cut to a shot of Mal standing in a corridor.

Mal: "How long?"

Reverse to Kaylee talking back to Mal.

Kaylee: "Couple of hours, maybe."

Fade to black, then the Firefly ship logo appears.

Narrator: An all-new Firefly, next Friday on Fox.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:30


Jeff Mejia - Oct 20, 2002 11:45:06 pm PDT #20 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the promo (with very little actual new scenes) for the next Angel episode, which is called "Slouching Toward Bethlehem" :

Narrator: Their's was a Love of destiny...

We open with a shot from the season opener, "Deep Down", part of Angel's hallucination. We see Cordelia talking to Angel. We first see a close up of Cordelia. Then we switch angles to focus on Angel confessing his love to Cordelia.

Angel: "I need you Cordy."

Angel leans in for a kiss.

The shot freezes then we cut to a shot from "Tomorrow", where we see Cordelia ascending to who knows where.

Narrator: Then she vanished to a realm unknown.

Cut to a close up of Glowy!Cordelia, stuck in her heavenly dimension or whatever. This is a shot from last week's episode, "Ground State".

Flash cut to another shot from "Ground State", where we see Angel arguing with the cobweb demon.

Angel: "Wherever she is, I need her."

The camera zooms in on Angel, then we actually see a new scene. We see Angel kick open a couple of doors. Gunn is visible behind him as they prepare for battle.

Cut to a shot of a body being thrown through a set of glass windows.

Cut to a shot of Angel and Gunn in battle. The setting appears to be a basement of somekind. Gunn is in the foreground and swinging his axe, while Angel is duking it out with someone in the background.

Cut to a shot of Angel backhanding someone, apparently human, in the basement setting.

Narrator: Now, his search will end...

Cut to a shot of Cordelia materializing in the hotel lobby. This (and the remaining shots) are all from the end of tonight's episode, "The House Always Wins".

Reverse cut to see Angel, Gunn, and Fred enter the hotel.

Angel: "Cordelia?"

Cut to a close up of Cordy, as she sees the gang and backs away.

Quick cut back to the gang at the entrance to the hotel.

Narrator: ...and the mystery will begin.

Zoom in on Angel, then quick cut back to a close up of Cordelia.

Cordelia: "Who are you people?"

Cut the Angel logo.

Narrator: An all-new Angel, next week on the WB's Big Sunday

Grr. Arrgh.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:20


Jeff Mejia - Oct 20, 2002 11:46:41 pm PDT #21 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the previously that was shown on the Angel episode, "The House Always Wins":

(Wesley) Previously on Angel....

We open with shots from "Tomorrow":

We see Lorne, decked ou in a white suit, talking to Angel in Angel's room in the hotel.

Lorne: "Hey I thought I'd stop by and say arriverderci, Angel-hair."

Cut to a reaction shot of Angel.

Lorne(VO0: "I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow night."

Cut to a wide shot, from behind Angel, of the two of them talking.

Angel: "You're really going."

Lorne: "I'm really going."

Cut to scenes from "Tomorrow", as we see Cordelia call Angel from her home.

Cordy: "I sort of need to talk to you."

We now see Cordelia careening through highway traffic, as her Jeep pulls to the side of the road.

Cordelia (VO): "I'm late. I'm late!"

Cut to Skip explaining to Cordelia why time has apparently stopped around her on the freeway.

Skip: "What you are being called to do transcends love. .... You become a higher being."

Cut to a reaction shot of Cordelia.

Cordy: "Me?"

Cut to a shot of a glowy Cordelia ascending to who knows where.

Cordelia: "I know somehow, it's all going to be all right."

Cut to the end of "Deep Down", where we see a weakened Angel talking to Fred.

Angel: "I need Cordy, now."

Cut to a close up of Lorne, in Vegas and talking on the phone to Fred.

Lorne: "If I miracle ear anything, I'll send up a smoke signal. "

Pan out to see Lorne in a blue and white fur, with a large man standing next to him as he talks on the phone.

Lorne: "Take care of yourself, and make sure that Fluffy is getting enough love."

Cut to shots from "Ground State". The first shot we see is of Angel walking through sewer tunnels.

Wesley (VO): "There is someone who may know where Cordy is."

Cut to a wide shot, as we see Angel enter the lair of the cobwebby demon-thng.

Cut to a close up of the demon.

Cobwebby demon-thing: "She is far from you champion and needs you no longer."

Cut to a shot of Angel, looking up in supplication.

Angel: "I need her."

Cut to an angle behind Angel, as we see him looking up at the cobweb demi-goddess, seated on her throne.

Cobweb demi-goddess: "What you seek can only be found inside the Axis of Pythia."

Cut back to a shot of Angel looking up at the demon.

Cut to a shot inside the Hyperion offices, where we see Gunn seated at the desk, in the foreground, and Angel in the back on the couch, drawing on a pad.

Reverse to Fred standing in front of the guys, as she expositions the Axis of Pythia in front of her presentation.

Fred: "It's an ancient relic said to be able to find souls or entities across dimensions."

Reverse back to the guys, as we see Angel hold up his pad, while Gunn turns and looks.

Angel: "Entitities like..."

Cut to a close up of Gunn.

Gunn: "Cordelia."

Cut to a shot of Gunn and Fred standing outside a door. We see a glow emenating out from the bottow of the door.

Fred: "Do you thnk he found her?

The door opens, and Angel walks past Fred and Gunn without saying a word.

We cut to a close up of Angel, explaining what he found out.

Angel: "There was all this light around her,..."

Cut to shot of Fred, leaning on the round sofa thing, listening pensively.

Angel (VO): " and the light seemed to be made up..."

Cut back to Angel.

Angel: " of pure joy.""

Cut to a shot of Gunn seated on the steps of the lobby next to Angel.

Angel: "Finally I find her, and I realize she already is home."

Cut to Glowy!Cordy, stuck in her glowing dimension.

Glowy!Cordy: "What are you, deificient. Get me outta here!"

ELAPSED TIME - 1:13


Jeff Mejia - Oct 25, 2002 10:27:44 pm PDT #22 of 121
"Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing towards oblivion." Dogbert to Dilbert

Here is the promo for next week's Firefly episode, "Shindig" :

Narrator: He's fought in the future's bloodiest battles...

We open with a few shots from the intro. We see a close up of Mal staring in horror at the carnage of battle.

Cut to the shot where we see the ships floating is the sky over the valley where the battle is being fought.

Cut to a shot of some explosions down on the battlefield and troops fighting.

Cut to a shot of Serenity zooming through space.

Narrator: ...but next week, this startship captain will defend a woman's honor.

Cut to a shot of Mal wearing his finery. He is talking to a man in a dressy grey coat who is stanind next to Inara. The shot is in the courtyard somewhere and is shot during the day. The shot is from behind the guy in the grey coat.

Move to a different angle, but still behind the grey-coat guy, and we see Mal swing a right cross towards the guy.

Switch to an angle behind Mal, where we see the illusion of Mal hitting the guy on his chin with his right cross.

Cut to a shot of the crowd, where we can see a dressed-up Jayne looking on.

Come back to Mal, this time talking to someone off-camera. Inara is standing where the grey-coated guy was before. Inara turns to her right and back.

Reverse shot to see the grey-coated guy stanidng next to a green-coated guy. The grey-coated guy (now referred to as the Challanged) is talking to Inara and Mal

Challenged: "I accept."

Cut to a shot of Serenity kicking into firefly mode in space.

Now we move to an interior scene. Mal is talking to Inara, possibly in someone's room.

Mal: "He insulted you. I hit him."

Reverse to Inara, dressed in nightware, looking skeptically at Mal.

Cut back to Mal.

Mal: "And I never back down from a fight."

Back to Inara, now with a smile of disbelief on her face.

Inara: "Yes you do. "

Cut to Mal.

Inara (VO): "You do it all the time."

Cut to a shot of Serenity flying through space, in the local area of a planet and two moons.

Narrator: It's a twisted tale of spaced-out chivalry.

Now we cut to an outdoor shot, in a garden or woods-type environment. We see Mal standing next to another guy who appears to be from the local ares.

Reverse shot to see that they were looking at the Challenged guy, who is brandishing a sword.

Pull further back to reveal the Challenged guy move to the en garde position, while Mal stands about 10 feet away from him, facing him.

Reverse angle to see Mal stand back from the end of the sword that has moved closer towards him.

Move to a shot inside Serenity. Simon is talking to the rest of the gang.

Simon: "The captain's a good fighter. He must know how to handle a sword."

Reverse to see Kaylee, Jayne, Wash, and Zoe in a semi-circle, listening to Simon.

Cut to a close up of Zoe.

Zoe: "I think he knows which end to hold."

Cut to an extremely long shot of the dueling area, where we can see Mal is testing out his moves with the sword.

Cut to a closer shot of Mal and the Challenged guy in mid-duel.

Narrator: An all-new Firefly.

Cut to a shot of Inara and the guy Mal was standing next to in the earlier shot looking on at the duel.

Cut bakc to the duel, where we see Mal swing his sword and the Challanged guy lunge backwards to avoid the blade.

Cut to a close up of Mal as he tips his sword upwards.

Mal: "Let's be careful. You know these things are sharp."

Cut to Inara and the other guy looking on.

Other guy: "He thinks he's doing well, doesn't he?"

Narrator: Next Friday on Fox.

We see the Challenged guy lunge forward and swing his sword.

Cut to Mal turning towards his right away from the blade cut.

Pull back to see Mal go to his knees as the Challanged guy presses forward.

Cut to Inara and the other guy as they wince.

Other guy: "This thing isn't going to take long, is it?"

Cut to a shot behind Mal, down on his knees, as the Challenged guy brings his sword up towards his face.

Reverse the angle to look directly at Mal, as the sword sits right next to the left side of his face.

ELAPSED TIME - 0:30