It is annoying because it treats husband as animal and it comes off very manipulative.

Yeah, but she does tell him. So that's something. In a similar vein, AcrossTheHall!Teacher lent me a book called the Dog Trainer's Guide to Parenting, which is surprisingly helpful. Stuff about "training" your SO does sound manipulative, but heck, I can sympathize with the wanting some adjustments to happen (mind you, in my case I'd be the one with clothes on the floor, so...). Of course, with the key thing I think what happened was less that she trained him into doing anything differently and more that she stopped "helping" in ways that were making things worse. So that's more training herself, really.

In other words, Gris, I feel you. It is the hate. I'm 75% certain I won't be returning to this school next year, so I'm tempted to be all "take your multiple observations and do something else with them," but I'll still need my evaluation when I go on to the next school, so must buckle down and "probe more deeply for student understanding," despite the very real likelihood that continuing to question one student for longer than 30 seconds will lead to the rest of them turning their notetaking guides into paper airplanes and entering an indepth discussion of... er, I'm not sure, as it's in Spanish. Something not related to math, I'll tell you that.

Pardon the ramble. I'm meant to be doing planning right now, but my toe hurts.

David, I wish that I could express how completely perfect, and perfectly timed that article is for me.

You're welcome, Beej. It seemed apt for both your work and where you had been recently.

The tenor of the article didn't bug me. I often think it's better to step back from difficult dynamics and think of them in terms of strategies. It will often yield a new angle on things, and take you out of your own contribution to the problem.

but my toe hurts.

What'd you do to your toe?

Btw, Emily do you want to make a TJ's run sometime this soon? Which is to say, I'm offering to drive you there and back.

Emily - alternatively, there is a TJ's right by my house....

What'd you do to your toe?

Dropped upon it a can of soup. Which I was considering eating, but now I'm not so sure. Damn soup.

Sure! I think. Yeah!

Which I was considering eating, but now I'm not so sure.

Oh you should totally eat it to establish your dominance over the pantry.

Stuff about "training" your SO does sound manipulative, but heck, I can sympathize with the wanting some adjustments to happen (mind you, in my case I'd be the one with clothes on the floor, so...)

I often think it's better to step back from difficult dynamics and think of them in terms of strategies. It will often yield a new angle on things, and take you out of your own contribution to the problem.

Both of these statements are very it for me.

Quite apart from being manipulative, I think it is simply fair to focus on what actually works, and to be clear about what you want. We train people how to treat us every day. That seems to be fact. We behave in certain ways because they are habitual. Stepping back and thinking in terms of strategies is, frankly, the most loving thing I can think of.

eta: I should mention that I'm a teeny bit tipsy and on my way to bed...the foregoing is a statement I stand by...or rather...will be sleeping by...in the very near future.

I think, to be honest, that there was only a line or two that struck me as slightly 'different species' in her tone. And praiseing the positive, when you have a good relationship with someone - is good. Everyone likes to be appreciated. ( and the big difference - with people you can say things like I"ll be less cranky if I don't trip over your shoes. You just can't explain to the cat that choseing the only carpeted area to barf on is really annoying)

Matt wants to know if Emily is the Soup Dominatrix.

Matt wants to know if Emily is the Soup Dominatrix.

No, the soup totally kicked my ass. Stoopid soup. I should eat it now.

I should totally take a break, right? Need time to get my mind off square roots before I attack the problem of how to teach (ab)^m = a^mb^m to kids who overwhelmingly believe that 1/2 + 1/4 = 2/6.

We have achieved zero degrees Fahrenheit.

Northern Minnesota will be in the twenties below tonight.

Glad I'm here, in that case.