Stuff about "training" your SO does sound manipulative, but heck, I can sympathize with the wanting some adjustments to happen (mind you, in my case I'd be the one with clothes on the floor, so...)

I often think it's better to step back from difficult dynamics and think of them in terms of strategies. It will often yield a new angle on things, and take you out of your own contribution to the problem.

Both of these statements are very it for me.

Quite apart from being manipulative, I think it is simply fair to focus on what actually works, and to be clear about what you want. We train people how to treat us every day. That seems to be fact. We behave in certain ways because they are habitual. Stepping back and thinking in terms of strategies is, frankly, the most loving thing I can think of.

eta: I should mention that I'm a teeny bit tipsy and on my way to bed...the foregoing is a statement I stand by...or rather...will be sleeping by...in the very near future.

I think, to be honest, that there was only a line or two that struck me as slightly 'different species' in her tone. And praiseing the positive, when you have a good relationship with someone - is good. Everyone likes to be appreciated. ( and the big difference - with people you can say things like I"ll be less cranky if I don't trip over your shoes. You just can't explain to the cat that choseing the only carpeted area to barf on is really annoying)

Matt wants to know if Emily is the Soup Dominatrix.

Matt wants to know if Emily is the Soup Dominatrix.

No, the soup totally kicked my ass. Stoopid soup. I should eat it now.

I should totally take a break, right? Need time to get my mind off square roots before I attack the problem of how to teach (ab)^m = a^mb^m to kids who overwhelmingly believe that 1/2 + 1/4 = 2/6.

We have achieved zero degrees Fahrenheit.

Northern Minnesota will be in the twenties below tonight.

Glad I'm here, in that case.

Take a break. I do not believe that 1/2+1/4= 2/6, but you have to explain ^ symbol before I got the rest. so take a break.

Matt wants me to help move stuff in the garage. He seems to have forgotten that there is no heat in there...

Just that (ab) squared is a squared times b squared. Sigh. The barriers to learning that when they cannot reliably remember that 4x does not mean 4 + x...

ahh - squared. I figure you were saying something like that - just couldn't put the right action in... sadly, my understanding does not help you students. May there be a minor miracle tomorrow.

Tomorrow's set, actually. It's just, I need to be more than one day ahead, you know? And... I'm not. Because the whole thing is kind of tiring.

Well then , that's the miracle I wish for you. Get a little ahead without making you so tired.

It's good to see you here, Emily. Sorry that mathiness is so hard to pound into the tough skulls of the young.

Why is the rum gone?