I don't think I would mind small talk if I were better at it. I should get a book or something. But if the other person is good at it, I'm fine. I can follow along merrily.

Small talk is just social lubrication. The ability to maintain the conversation as a social gesture rather than talking about shit that's of mutual interest.

I think this may be my problem with it (as in why I kind of suck at it) - I'm self-conscious about the fact that it's not actually interesting, anything I'm saying or listening to. But I really don't think about it that much. I just soldier on through it when necessary.

Oh, my. My last prof has a lot of energy.

Edit: Of course, the last time I thought that after the first class, the prof ended up becoming my favorite prof ever.

I think this may be my problem with it (as in why I kind of suck at it) - I'm self-conscious about the fact that it's not actually interesting, anything I'm saying or listening to. But I really don't think about it that much. I just soldier on through it when necessary.

I think of it as sort of conversational foreplay. You make a couple gambits while exchanging pleasantries to see if the other person has a sense of humor or irony or has an interesting tale to tell. If not, well at least there were no awkward silences to cringe up the evening.

Standard fallbacks: sports, travel, movies, books. Weather as a last resort. How about those Mets?

See, I generally love and am good at small talk.

It's actual conversations of meaning that are hard.

Travel and movies, I can do. Books I'm pretty good with, though considering how bad I am about remembering titles and authors, it can be dangerous ground. Sports? Not so much. Unless I've read the sports page that day for just that reason.

It's the rhythms of it that can throw me sometimes. Like, I would probably do fine with Hec or Plei, since they're both good at it. But me and another me... we might run into some of those awkward cringey moments.

If not, well at least there were no awkward silences to cringe up the evening.

What's interesting to me is in some cultures, the "awkward silence" is in fact considered better than small talk just for the sake of avoiding the silence.

At parties or dinners, I always start with "How do you know the {Host/hostess/inviting body}?" because that usually involves them telling you a bit about themselves. ("We play in the same Bluegrass jam band" or "I'm here because my company makes the software you use.") I look for something interesting to talk about and you can ususally find it. Because people? Freaky.

Because people? Freaky.

That's my credo! You just gotta find their freak. Some will not reveal it, but you'd be surprised how many people want to talk about their thang.