Part of me is very entrenched as well. But at this point I don't want children because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be a good mom. Also, I personally require a husband/SO/child-rearing buddy, so that's gotta come first. I'm kinda riding out the biological clock at this point. (I'm this young, and saying this, which makes me HORRIBLE.)

Being an aunt is AWESOME, though.

Speaking as a mother (who wanted and wants to be a mother), being an aunt is AWESOME!

I wanted kids once, before a practical assessment of logistics said I'd be an idiot and criminally negligent to bring kids into my chaotic world. Kids is a standard topic of conversation in Utah, so I'm often asked "How many kids do you have?" I answer with a blithe, "None" and hope they don't decide to ask "Why?" To which I answer, "Just didn't happen." It's much better now that I'm 46 instead of 26, when the world seemed to think my child status was a matter of great importance. "Oh, it's not too late to start!" was a common refrain when I was in my 30s. Even the utterly clueless will still say "It's not too late." Dweebs.

One good thing about getting married at age 50? No "having kids" questions.

So when are you going to adopt?

I feel terribly selfish about my childlessness. But it's selfish vs. selfish. Something deep inside me screams at me to keep my parents' genetic line going into the future, that it's not fair to stop it now (there's a certain "well how will we take over the world???" subtext,I must admit).

On the other hand, kids are smelly, noisy, and expensive, and if I don't WANT want to raise any (as opposed to the genetic imperative for world domination), I should not even think about embarking on that particular plan.

I did apologise to my mother, though. I know my sister's even more averse to raising kids than I am.

Still, the offer to try and have one or two and hand them off to Ma is extant, womb et al. allowing. It's the least I could do.

On the other hand, kids are smelly, noisy, and expensive

Two jobs actually "Off the pole, and off the pipe." Or maybe he aimed the pipe at sons. I'd like to do all that stuff, but I think I'd have to meet The One like...Thursday. And I don't think I will. It's probably okay...just my half of the genes is a total mess...I think the world can live without my demon spawn.

I think there's still a strong cultural bias that contends that Parenthood is the right and natural role of adulthood. That people that don't choose it are selfish or immature or something.

It is definitely very much entrenched. I've been agonizing about it SIMPLY BECAUSE of the cultural norm. I don't even know what I think about it anymore.

A friend actually told me that people who don't have children are more selfish than those who do, because there's nothing like having a kid to make a person have to really give of themselves and sacrifice.

And I thought, but didn't say -- because I hate conflict and so I wuss out and never say what I'm thinking -- bullshit. I know plenty of people with kids who *never* got past the idea that it was All About Them, and parenthood most definitely didn't turn them into Mother Theresa.

That said, I think that being a parent *can* cause a person to realize they've been too self-focused, but in general, if you're a selfish ass before you have kids, you're pretty much going to stay a selfish ass *after* you have kids.

I think I might have been an ok mom, but not great. but I might have had to kill someone durring the very dependant years ( not the child, just someone to take out my fustrations of having no time to me ). Matt would have been a great dad . Despite being a major softie - he wold have figured out the no concept. I am guessing he would have had a harder tiem with the fight for indepedence stage.

and I will be having oatmeal for lunch because chewing is not fun.

Erika, that was the DH's reaction to parenthood. He said "I am not so attached to my DNA that I want to see it replicated."

I have no great desire to make sure my genes are passed on... of course, they already are, and I don't have to do the work.

I wonder if I'd feel the same way about passing on my genes if I wasn't Bio-Pop....

I always thought that I would want kids. But mostly, I just want to *want* kids. It bothers me more than I care to admit that I don't have any great urge to have kids. Particularly since I'm in a relationship with someone who does want kids and who would be a great dad.

t edit I'm not particularly opposed to having kids; I just don't think my biological clock was ever installed. Or turned on, or something. Plus, I *am* a selfish dick, and I don't think I would be a good mom.