I have no great desire to make sure my genes are passed on... of course, they already are, and I don't have to do the work.

I wonder if I'd feel the same way about passing on my genes if I wasn't Bio-Pop....

I always thought that I would want kids. But mostly, I just want to *want* kids. It bothers me more than I care to admit that I don't have any great urge to have kids. Particularly since I'm in a relationship with someone who does want kids and who would be a great dad.

t edit I'm not particularly opposed to having kids; I just don't think my biological clock was ever installed. Or turned on, or something. Plus, I *am* a selfish dick, and I don't think I would be a good mom.

I am not so attached to my DNA that I want to see it replicated.

I am, dammit! Well, not primarily your DH's, although he's got a fine pair of strands, not that I was looking.

Then again, I'm medical low-level crapshoot...but maybe the right guy could patch up my alleles...

I might feel differently if I ever a. Pull my life together or b. meet the absolute LOML.(Because I'm not one of the women who could do it by herself, and I would want my kids to have two parents in a way that I sort of didn't.) It would be nice, but I don't feel that I *need* to. Because there are plenty of kids that don't get enough, if I ever find I have any wisdom to pass on.

Having kids is such an enormously personal decision -- I mean, it's a lifetime commitment, you know? People *assuming* that everyone who's married should begin procreating right away is one of the most arrogant things ever.

When I was young -- like, *really* young -- I thought I would have five or six kids, do the total earth mother thing, yadda babycakes. Then I had Jake. And it took me four and a half years to consider having another another. I love my kids, and I love raising them, but I've learned quite well how selfish I am, and that spacing the kids out was really necessary for my sanity. I adore infants -- but I adore them so much more when I can play with them for an hour and then hand them back to someone else.

The worst nosy breeders questions I've heard of were actually ones several people asked my sister after she had her first kid--oldest niece was born with a very serious heart condition that required two open heart surgeries before she was three, so any thoughts of having a second child were put off for several years. After about 2 years, people started asking her when she was going to get pregnant again, since clearly being an only child wasn't acceptable.

Why do people *care*?

After about 2 years, people started asking her when she was going to get pregnant again, since clearly being an only child wasn't acceptable.

Heh.

People ask me about when I'm having another ALL the time.

And, you know, no.

No more. Between bedrest and blood pressure and the pain of just getting pregnant and staying that way in the first place, NO. I can't do that again.

So, you know, I spork them.

So, you know, I spork them.

We should all begin to carry sporks with us at all times just for such moments.

Why do people *care*?

I think there's a definite element of people wanting their own choices validated -- if they have kids, they want everyone else to do the same, because then they're part of the norm.

I think there's an element of jealousy, too -- I think a lot of people with kids would never *want* to admit to thinking about what their lives would be like if they'd opted out of parenthood, so seeing other people make that choice is a thorn in the side -- "How come they get to [perceived image of endless travel, parties evey night, more spenging money, no one throwing up on you at 3 a.m.], when I didn't?"