Fun with nicknames and knowledge, in Bitches.

billytea: I didn't really have a proper nickname at school, yet I now have two at work: "Sneakers" and "Willipedia".

connie neil: "Willipedia?"
"You bet he will!"

billytea: Rarely has a shot been so rim.

connie neil: I'm the Ed McMahon of Bitches.

Trudy Booth: How many legs does a Willipede have?

billytea: Dare I suggest that you look it up? (Correct answer: a willion.)

Trudy Booth: I'm just grateful its the pedes we're counting and not the willys.

Typo Boy: At that end there can be only one.

billytea: Not according to the marsupial family.

From (where else?) bitches:

Aims - I need help. I have to give an abstinence-only = boo, comprehensive sex ed = YAY! speech tonight and I have NO VISUAL AID. What should I use?

Vortex - Em.

NoiseDesign, in Bitches.

It's hard to give a man a reach around from 151 miles away.

Aim's classmate:

Learn the language. At least learn key phrases so that you can get help if you need it. I had trouble the first time I went to Europe because I didn't speak any French or British.

Fay responds:

On behalf of the people of Europe (and I venture to suspect that the people of Asia, Africa, Australasia and the Middle East will join us on this one), I have a message for your acquaintance: "Stay home. No, really."

(Could you translate it into American for her?)

Miracleman:

Sure.

"American Idol is on."

Typo Boy sets it up, and Billytea knocks it out:

If I could take a ferry to Ikea I would even if all I bought once I got there was Swedish meatballs.

Sure, it sounds romantic, but then you discover you have to assemble the ferry yourself.

erkikaj: They outsourced Magical Cripples to India, JZ. Not my fault. Maybe it's NAFTA. They're sweeter, but sort of hard to understand on the phone.

Barb in Bitches, because OMG:

So my mother went with my father to the family lawyer today so dear daddy could file for divorce from his current wife. Yanno, the one with whom he cheated on my mom thirty years ago while THEY were married and then subsequently married after he and Mom's incredibly bitter divorce?

She said to Maria (my sister), "I do wish your sister would be more understanding about this. I wish she could be happy for me."

And she mentioned that she thought it would make a good story for me to write.

Dude, I don't write science fiction.

Erin in Literary:

My lib card is maxed out -- dude, you KNOW you're an English teacher when your credit card balance is ok, but your library card is declined!

In Bitches

Billytea: (like I had to tell you) [T]the ostrich couple had eggs! The female stayed with them, while the male took up an aggressive posture right in front of me! Seriously, if I'd leant over the guard rail even a foot or so I reckon he could've (and would've, certainly) taken a swipe at me! How awesome was that?

omnis audis: what? He didn't? That flippin ostrich owes me my $10 back.

Aims (my candidate for mother of the year):

That's why Joe and I just drop Emeline off at random frat parties and then go out to a movie and dinner and pick her up later.