MM on Fuckcakes in Bitches:
So right there with you. Can you explain to this guy who has called like 6 times that my coworker's phone isn't broken, he's just at lunch?
I hate this:
Fuckcake: "I have Problem X."
Me: "That's a Payroll issue. I will alert them. They will investigate and call you back."
FC: "Thank you."
1 hour later:
Phone: *ring*
FC: "Any answer on my problem? Which is Problem X? Which, in excrutiating detail, involves blahblahblahblahforeversticks with tartar sauce?"
Me: "Yes, FC, I understand your problem. I'm the one you spoke to earlier. I hate tartar sauce. Payroll is investigating and someone will call you."
FC: "Thank you."
A half hour later:
Phone: *ring. Again.*
FC: "Any answer yet on my Problem X, the painful details of which are blahblahblahblahwould you like tartar sauce with that?"
Me: "No. Not yet. Payroll. Will. Call. You."
FC: "Thank you."
Fifteen minutes later:
Phone: *Ring. Sorry.*
FC: "Is there, perhaps, an answer regarding my Problem X, regarding which I have composed an epic poem in the style of the Nordic Sagas with tartar sauce?"
Me: "Grrr. No. Payroll. Call. You."
FC: "Thank you."
Five minutes later:
Phone: *Uh. Ring?*
Me: "No."
Phone: *Uh. Yeah. Um. Ring?*
Me: "I said no."
Phone: *Er. Ringy-dingy?*
Me: "I hate you with a passionate heat as burning as a thousand suns."
Phone: *Just the messenger, dude. Ring.*
FC: "Hi. I was wondering if Problem X, now reaching its tenth volume as far as descriptive and repetitive details go, has had any..."
Me: "I know where you live."
FC: "...are you going to bring tartar sauce?"
Me: "Yes. Tartar sauce of death."
FC: "I'll just wait for Payroll to call, then. *aggrieved sigh*"
Me: "Thank you!"