flea:
(The Right To Bear Arms is a commandment, right?)
Teppy:
No, no -- the Right To Arm Bears is a commandment.
"I, the LORD your God, do love the ursine creatures above all others. Therefore, thou shalt provide all manner of artillery to every type of bear, except the Koalas, for lo, they are not actually bears. They are marsupials, you dumbasses, and I, the LORD your God, proclaim that thou shalt NOT provide marsupials with artillery, for lo, they are shifty and prone to switching loyalties without notice. In retrospect, I shouldn't have created them.
"Go now, and do as I have commanded."
JZ in bitches:
I would be all in favor of watching the humans play baseball in a catlike fashion -- it'd make lousy baseball but great entertainment.
Swisher's rounding second, coming up on third, and... he trips over Scutaro, who was tackled in a surprise move by the opposing third baseman, who's now vigorously washing Scutaro's ears!
It's a simple pop fly headed right at Milton Bradley, who's sitting on his haunches in the outfield looking dreamily at absolutely nothing. The ball plops down right by his left foot. After a minute or two of staring blankly at the ball in mild surprise, Bradley goes batshit, springs to his feet, and tries to run frantically in nine directions at once. Then he falls asleep.
The ball somehow manages to leave closer Houston Street's hand, sailing over the head of the batter curled up snoring peacefully on home plate, and whizzing past Jason Kendall, who's writhing in ecstasy as the ump scratches behind his ears. The ball flumps to the ground some yards away, and Kendall promptly bites a chunk out of the ump's hand.
In Natter, a discussion of mawwage:
shrift
I just overhead our temporary receptionist, who is 20 years old and still in college, inform someone that she has her entire wedding planned even though she's currently single.
I don't even know what to do with that.
Allyson
Tell her you've got your entire divorce planned right down to the caliber?
Nutty, in Spoilers (not spoilery):
People whose names rhyme should not be married anyway. Do you see me married to somebody named Slutty? No!
Context is for sissies.
Hil R.
in Bitches:
"Anyone who comes to the front of the bus and sings or dances or otherwise makes a fool of himself gets an inappropriate bear."
(context is for sissies and for posterity on the BRQG)
I like it without context.
Pbbblllltt!
t /4-year-old
(Because I am 12....)
In Natter --
Shrift:
I kind of went a little crazy with the fruit when I was ordering groceries last night, so I'm going to have blueberries and strawberries and raspberries and -- basically it will be a berrypocalypse in my kitchen tonight.
Matt:
Just pace yourself so it doesn't become poopmageddon in your bathroom tomorrow.
Connie Neil in Bitches 35:
I love heights--though I have to be always mindful that the voice that says "Go ahead, you'll be able to fly" is not my friend.
