StolenCubicle:

So I pulled an all nighter tonight and got the freakiest scare of my life. I was hearing some odd sounds comming from the window behind me but i decided to ignore the odd squeeking. After all, it could just be those two birds that have gay sex every single time I try to pull an all nighter.

I finally decide to go break up the bird sex parade by banging on the wall, whic usually works for a short while.. Suddenly, a mouse (tiny, two inch thing) leaps into the air and on to the touch in front of me before going through a series of spectacularly high jumps and movements at blinding speed.

I'm just standing there going What the FUCK?!

And then, it leaps like it's a transformers mouse or something, as high up as the window...and misses! Now it's in the room, moving at ridiculous speed, and it won't stop chatting like it's a freaking rat from Nimh!

I have the strong urge to get my kunai and practice throwing at moving objects on one hand, on the other hand i want to leap on top of a table and scream, because, SHIT! IT IS A LARGE FAST MOUSE WITH INSANE JUMPING ABILITIES!!!!!!

Yet it is still not strong enough to jump for freedom AKA the open window. Or maybe that's what it wanted me to think.

because then, I heard a long series of squeeks. And then the scrabbling of Super mouse actually reaching the window and climbing out through the hole in the mosquito netting.

So if anyone is looking for the Rat's of NIMH? Yeah.. They're in my yard.

edited because the originator thinks I missed the funny

TopicCindy in Bitches on the Zmayhem Baby Watch

Waiting for the Zmayhem baby brings home to me how I will never escape my craving for spoilers. I can resist them (and do, with shows like VM and The Office), but it's not in my nature.

We already know the baby will come more or less today. And we know she'll be a girl (unless that's a foiler). And unless there's some bigass retcon reveal slated for sweeps, we know who her parents are (and who her sibling is). We even know how some of JZ's pains feel.

So, the average person might ask, "What's left to spoil?"

When I (and maybe that ought to read "we" because I know there are people here who will what I mean so well that they may feel the same way)...when I say, "spoilers," I actually mean, "SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I wanna know if JZ is having an epi, because she had to have the pitocin, and I want to know if she's okay with any modifications to her birthing plan. I wanna know if she's having any touch averse moments, and if so, how Hec's dealing with them. I wanna know if she got anything to eat before she went to the hospital, and if they're letting her have ice chips. I want to know the color of her johnny. I want to know if her parents are coming to the hospital before the birth, or if they'll wait at home.

I wanna know the time of birth. Down to the second. I wanna know if Hec cut the cord, and if he and/or JZ cried. I wanna know the baby's birth weight to the half ounce, her height to the half inch, and her names-as-appear-on-birth-cert. And who's filling out the cert, for that matter. And I want to know how Emmett is, and his reaction upon meeting the baby for the first time.

Give me the shooting script, because I want to know. Now!

Strike that. I want to know before.

Where's Leoff with the wildfeed?

And Polter with the updates

I wanna know if JZ is having an epi, because she had to have the pitocin

"I am so far without an epidural, and I am going to do my damndest to avoid it. That may be a foiler."

I want to know if she's okay with any modifications to her birthing plan.

"I haven't had time to write up the birthing plan yet. So it is all madly improvised. Except that I want my fentanyl."

I wanna know if she's having any touch averse moments, and if so, how Hec's dealing with them.

"Nope, not at all. But it's early yet." TEASER!

I wanna know if she got anything to eat before she went to the hospital, and if they're letting her have ice chips.

"I had nothing to eat because it was midnight, but the night nurse, before she went off-shift...got me some cream of wheat and some yogurt. Now I'm sucking on LifeSavers. Cherry."

I want to know the color of her johnny.

"Blue pin-stripes."

I want to know if her parents are coming to the hospital before the birth, or if they'll wait at home.

"They are here, right now, but they have both been informed that as soon as I get to the screaming and yelling stage, they will be booted, and they are both okay with it." Also, her mom brought a laptop, and while it is not Internet-enabled, it enables her to watch Wonderfalls and Slings and Arrows.

I wanna know if Hec cut the cord

"Hec is not gonna cut the cord."

And I want to know how Emmett is

Emmett is grumpy and bitter about not being able to play with his new iPod Nano, which is being held hostage at home.

JZ's kittens are on Sean and Scola.

"Unexpected plot developments may occur later that may cause a change in the arc."

And she's on the upswing of another contraction, so she let me go.

(Heroes & Studio 60 spoilers)

Matt the Bruins fan: I'm surprised that after tuning in to see the time-and-space bending and people flying and indestructible cheerleaders, the most amazing that happened on NBC tonight was a television show making me like Amanda Peet.

ita in Natter:

Also, how much more apostrophe inconsistent could I be? It's like crappy Stargate fanfic.

Emily in Bitches:

read an article the other day wherein a teacher says she doesn't believe in giving F's, that it's a sign that a teacher has just given up. And it really made me think, you know? It made me think, mostly, fuck you and the horse you rode in on, bitch.

DavidS in Bitches, trying to get some sleep:

5:40am

Ping!

David's Brain: Where's Jacqueline?

David: [muzzy] Wha? She's in the hospit...

David's Brain: Where's the baby?

David: Also, in the hospital.

David's Brain: Mmmhmmm. Emmett?

David: With his mom. Please, everybody is fine. Let me sleep. I didn't get to sleep last night until one. We need to rest.

David's Brain: Gotta be ready! Baby in the house! Must maintain state of constant ready alertness!

David: Ooof. Brain, everybody is fine. This is like our last little chance to get some sleep before the baby really is in the house. We need to sleep. Sleep is good. Okay?

David's Brain: ..........

David: Okay. [starts drifting away on imagery of the opening credits of Age of Innocence. Dark waters superimpsed with flowers and beautiful calligraphy. Some classical music. Dappling light...]

David's Brain: Serpentine!

In Lost...

tiggy: i'm only sticking around [ABC's Lost] because i'm a masochist and possibly a completist.

megan walker: i'm only sticking around because i'm a completist and possibly a masochist.

I can't believe no one has COMM'd this yet!

DavidS in Bitches:

The other story is when JZ was getting her epidural. She's very needlephobic and the way she deals with it is by talking her way through it. So it usually sounds like, "Okay, and now they're putting the needle in. And I'm NOT running away. I am staying still. And...OW! Fuck that hurts. Fucking fuck fuck fuck! Motherfucking fuckheads!"

So, I try to warn the doctor beforehand. "Don't take it personally." But the doctor was cool and snarky, and talked right back to her and kept her distracted. Except she's very flinchy about the whole thing. And flinched when she got the preliminary lidocaine shot.

Me: It's very important that you're still when you get the epidural. You have to be completely still when he starts it. You can't pull away or jerk. You have to be calm.
JZ: Okay. He's starting the epidural now. And I'm just going to talk. I'm going to be a little chatter monkey. And chatter monkeys live in Indonesia and they have long silky purple fur. And... [her body is tensing up and I'm afraid she's going to jerk away again]
Me: Jacqueline! You have to focus. You have to be very still.
JZ: [glaring at me] ...and chatter monkeys will BITE the fingers off people who are too bossy. They will bite them right off.

Because we should all honor our inner 12 year old girl

Trudy Booth: The boy I loved at camp, Jon Barton, wore Polo.

I bought a teddy bear and a small bottle of Polo. I named the bear "Jon Barton." I doused it frequently and slept with it every night.

Years later in a make or break Pictionary round my sister drew a bear being sprayed with a bottle of cologne and we won when I yelled "POLO!!!!!"

In a Natter discussion of perfumes and high school/college and the memories (especially of guys) they provoke.

ita I went to an all girl's school. We smelt of nothing more than privation.